Illusions
by NanaMun
Summary: Part III of Sleep. JacobxEdward. Is the enemy of my enemy my friend, or my enemy?
1. The Big Escape

**Author's Notes: ** Thanks to those that have been reading faithfully: **gbfwolf, frapanappy, lilli kitty, Utena-Puschiko-nyu, rebelwilla. mercedesfrk1121. **Of course, I thank every reader and reviewer. It's nice to see what people think of the stories. Thanks for being patient guys!

**Disclaimer: Slash. Werepire love. Don't like, kick rocks.**

Lyrics from **The Big Escape** by **Minus the Bear**

**xXx**

**Chapter One: The Big Escape**

_You must be an illusion._

_Can I see through you?_

**Edward**

It was all irrelevant. Looking at the physical embodiment of my reason to live, tasting it and enjoying it, actually being happy every day. That meant nothing at all.

According to the big picture.

We tampered with the big picture, a path we could have lived through. I'm not sure I would have wanted that life. Either way, none of it is relevant. It is the end that matters. In the big picture, it is where leading sequences go.

That, I do not understand. What worth is the ending without the journey?

**Jacob**

I'm not one to pry.

That's a lie. The correct way to say it is I'm not one to pry when it would make things drastically hurt him more than he already was. He promised to meet me inside. He was needed-alone. That is never a good sign in the books of good news and bad news. No matter what anyone says "Can we speak in private." in most cases than not, a courtesy of _private_ disappointment...or worse. Well, at least he was polite.

I suddenly felt like punching myself. I should have demanded I stay with him and talk. It had to be about Sam, it had to. Because only he- I stopped, feeling like an ass. It had been an hour since I saw Edward appear from the trees, a literal stony look on his face, his eyes reminding me of Cheerios in spoiled milk. Never a good sign. He was enduring the torment to himself and yet here I was only making it worse by _thinking_ of whether or not I should ask. They still make people this retarded?

I opened my mouth to ask, but he was already across the room, disappearing out of the door. I watched, sighing at my mistake. He definitely knew the question was coming, but I already did my best to be patient. Watching him sit there like a fucking statue for 60 minutes wasn't entertaining and it damn sure didn't keep me from thinking what was said. He had to tell me, because this was about me and ultimately about us. I thought this relationship stuff was teamwork. Leave it to Edward Cullen to make things difficult and a one-man mope fest. He really needed to share the load

...Ironically that was never the problem during sex.  
I inhaled deeply, doing my best not to worsen the problem. Granted it was about me, but I needed to show some patience if he couldn't get it out that second. Edward tends to have the love for theatrics. Something I am definitely up for getting used to. But man, it is annoying.

I followed Edward out of the room, catching sight of him going downstairs. I kept a few paces behind him, blindly following until he was at the first floor. From where I stood, I noticed the tense muscles in his back, the clothes he carelessly threw on, hung on his body like dead weight. He looked horrible. I followed him to the piano, noticing how the wood gleamed under the room lights. I could hear the sounds of voices upstairs and a few clanks of metal from the garage. From what I was told, Edward's sister was a sucker for fixing up cars just as I was.

Edward sat down behind the piano, staring at the keys momentarily before his fingers stroked against them, getting some pleasurable sounds in response. I listened, a bit taken back by the tune. It felt so dark, but at the same time, I never heard anything so passionate, not even after remembering such intense words he said to me. He played for about 5 minutes, building on what I now called The Theme. He'd go on lighter, softer tangents, then in would come the traces of that tune again, filling the house up before it was roaring back, then died out again to another softer melody.

He must've been streaming his thoughts through the keys. I didn't like what this was doing to him. I finally spoke, unable to let it continue on, "What did Paul say?" Edward's hands froze over the keys. His topaz eyes now hardened and appeared to darken two shades. He was complete stone. I took the initiative to sit next to him. My hands came up on their own accord, petting his bronze hair and cupping his cheek. It hurt seeing him like this. I knew this, just how I knew that whatever he was keeping from me was to not hurt me as well. His eyes finally met mine and I couldn't help but gulp at his expression.

If vampires could cry...

"I mean nothing without you." He spoke finally. I waited, hoping he would clear up why he would say that, "But they need you."

Who needed me? The pack? "Why do they-?" I tried to pinpoint what could make him say this. A slow, but nonetheless strong wave of fear shook my body.

Edward's hands held me in place. I was suddenly aware it wasn't my imagination. I was literally shaking, my vision turning red.

I barely spoke above a whisper. "Who?" He knew what I meant. Who was hurt? I think I already had an idea.

Edward's face was set in concentration as he spoke, "They caught a scent about 50 miles out from the beach after the meeting. There was only Sam and Quil at that point. They were the closest. But he was still able to contact Paul and Jared. Sam and Quil caught up to him. James was enraged. He seemed to have given up on strategy as he was heading for La Push." Edward stopped. I sat there, taking as much of it as I could in.

"Quil got to him first." My eyes shut at his words. Damnit Quil, "James injured him badly, but Sam came in before he could kill him. Until Paul and Jared came, it was just them." My body shook again. I needed to know what happened, but half of me prayed for Edward to lie, to tell me everyone was fine. I knew better.

Edward stopped, his thumbs caressing my collarbone deftly. I knew he'd give me that; a lie. If that was what I truly wanted.

I gritted, my teeth, "Please, go on."

"Sam was trying to protect Quil. James was intent on killing him. He paid Sam no mind until he was provoked." The thought of Quil handing me my jacket and telling me to keep the bike was all I could think about. The look on his face when I told him to think of those he loved. What would happen to them if they lost him. And Sam...I thought of Emily. This was bad. No one ever explained what happened if the person who has imprinted dies or what happens to those they imprinted on. I did my best to listen, but Edward inhaled sharply and didn't continue. Maybe I thought too much. I exhaled dramatically, letting my head sag in against his chest. His arms automatically wound around my shoulders.

I was at a loss for words. Wouldn't I get in the way? What did they need me for?

"You're a born leader." Edward answered.

"What condition are they in?" I asked, feeling sick knowing the answer wouldn't be good.

Edward's hands held my head, lifting it so we were eye to eye, "Their condition is critical. That's all he told me, love." He watched me attentively, observing my response. I really couldn't say much.

What the hell could I do? What could I say? I had to at least keep calm for him. He was in enough pain worrying how much pain I'd be in. I appreciated the concern, but it was ridiculous. And just a little weird.

But still..."Thank you." I spoke. His eyes softened and his lips pecked mine affectionately.

"I love you and I understand that you have a duty." He stopped as if he was trying to form the next words, "I won't hold you back... ever."

I pulled away, staring at him wide-eyed, "Who says you'll hold me back?" Then it dawned on me. If Sam died...Edward's eyes cringed at the thought, "Nothing will ever keep me away, Edward. Not even duty."

Edward didn't respond immediately. Was this what he was really concerned about? Me leaving?

"I know I'm selfish." He shook his head, "You're worried about your friends and I'm more concerned about you leaving me."

"Don't be sorry."

It wasn't him that should be apologizing. It was me. Maybe if I didn't get them involved in this, nothing would have happened. Things were fucked up because of me.

**Edward**

_When we escape  
It's with a white lie  
We're both alive  
Now we lay this close  
Catchy measures of the pulse_

It was an entire day and he wasn't back yet. I got calls nearly every hour of updates and occasionally a few texts right after, but it wasn't enough. I hadn't tasted him in 24 hours or inhaled his scent as I held him. To call it an addiction would have been an understatement. It was an equivalent to air for a human, sunlight for a flower. How was I going to function in the future if he was ever pack leader?

Only moments after Jacob went back home, did I talk to Alice and Carlisle. It was difficult for Alice to pin-point anything at all, she had brief flashes, but nothing clear. It must have been the crossing between James and the pack. As long as the pack was involved, Jacob's safety was never guaranteed.

We were helpless even in the capacity of medical assistance. Carlisle's offer was turned down constantly every time. At this moment in time, Jacob was taking orders from his own father and the other Quileute elders, those who were intent on keeping the treaty line intact- even at the expense of their own lives. I was hurt and enraged.

Something else that bothered me more than it should was the initial reason why Paul kept the conversation for my ears only; to make the impact more direct towards Jacob. I knew how this worked. If I was the one to break the news, be the liaison for his pack, it isolated him even more. They needed him and yet they were going to make him suffer for it. They were going to take him away from me in the process of taking him down a few notches. He was just too trusting to see that.

Or perhaps I was being too pessimistic. Much of what I got was from Paul and Paul alone and the relationship between him and Jacob wasn't a promising one. The thought aggravated more than it assuaged me.

Thoughts were an enemy when I had to endure long spans of time in anticipation. Even with the constant murmurs and ongoing waves of busy thoughts swarming in the house, I was left alone to think. Carlisle and Jasper discussed treaty amendments, Alice worked diligently to focus her skill around the Quileute pack as Esme offered some tips that could work and Emmett as always laid his mind to rest with a game on TV. To consider Rosalie, would have been a polite gesture on my part. I honestly could care less considering her lack of concern for Jacob.

No one wanted to cross the threshold to my room. There was an unknown fear of what they would see and how they were to handle it- Esme especially. Her motherly protection over Jacob increased tenfold after he imprinted, so it was expected that her concern was almost as intense as mine.

24 hours, and he wasn't back. I was concerned.

**xXx**

6 more hours passed. And not a word of communication

In frustration, Alice left, dragging Jasper unwillingly along with her. She needed to let her aggravations out on some shopping. Carlisle was to follow soon after, being needed at the hospital. And Esme, bless her, in hopes of welcoming Jacob back had just arrived with a bed set and a king sized mattress. I opened the door to my room in time to see Emmett barging in with pieces of the need-to-be-assembled set followed by Esme and surprisingly Rosalie.

"Need a bed for the mutt, I suppose." Rosalie spoke disgustedly. Emmett merely chuckled, already allowing his mind to race.

"Only one need for a bed." He smirked devilishly.

Esme caught on, placing the pieces of the bed frame down, but she asked anyway, "Sleep?"

"Doing the freaky-deaky!" He winked at me. Despite my mood, I felt the twitch of a grin and before I knew it, it was a full smile.

"Thatta boy!" Emmett's voice boomed in laughter as he pounded his bear-like hand against my shoulder.

This was their way of getting me to open up and let them in after locking myself in my room over a day. Emmett carried the mattress up, resting it against the wall as Esme and I put together the bed in fluid motions. Rosalie watched bored, her back against the floor-to-ceiling glass window. In less than 30 minutes, the mattress was fitted on the frame and Esme was gingerly placing the new sheets, comforter and pillows on the bed.

Emmett gave a content sigh, patting the fluffy bed as if testing its softness, "Feels bang worthy." He confirmed.

"Emmett, this bed is for Jacob when he sleeps over." Esme finally spoke up, "I have a feeling he will be here a lot more even with his current situation." She said softly. I mentally thanked her for having such hope.

"Of course he will. No one wants to walk home after an exhausting fuck." Emmett said shamelessly. I hid my face with my hands, regretting Esme was there.

""Would you _stop_ it?" Rosalie growled, "I'm getting visuals." She scowled leaving the room hurriedly like that helped her at all. It didn't. I held back a growl as a short film played in her mind.

Jacob was a bit bigger than that.

"Me too." Emmett bit his lips, but followed suit without another word. His thoughts were more accurate.

I felt Esme's hands on my shoulder as she spoke softly, "He'll be back. He is tied to you. He can never be far for too long." Esme petted my head affectionately before disappearing behind Emmett. I could hear their footsteps travel down, dispersing on the first floor. I stared at the bed, taking in the smooth, dark wood and matching comforter and pillows neatly arranged. I'd give anything to see him splayed on it, writhing in pleasure, whispering my name...

Perhaps Emmett was partially right.

I smiled to myself, already picking up that familiar musk scent.

**Jacob**

_I see you do by the way you move  
I need to feel your body moving on me_

I stumbled lazily off the bike, looking up at the massive house, knowing he was inside pacing about crazily or annoying Alice for a vision. The last 6 hours were the worse. I was so exhausted and angry, I forgot to call and let him know what was up. I really didn't want to relive anything and upset him. He'd find out sooner or later anyway.

That core pain I had had for the past day was already subsiding as I approached the towering building. Maybe that was where the exhaustion and irritation came from. I was too far from him to tolerate it. That had to explain the random moments I thought I lost my sanity.

All was beginning to fade now that I approached the door. I was still overly tired, but none of that mattered when the door swung open to reveal the reason for my existence. He stared at me intensely, reading my expression. A strong, magnetic tug pulled me in the direction of his body. I was suddenly breathless, unable to think clearly.

He looked confused, trying to decipher something, "Jacob..." Something seemed to dawn on him. His eyes relaxed in realization.

"Come here." I growled, pulling him towards me by the nape of the neck. He didn't fight, but responded immediately letting me take control with a muffled moan. I forced my way into his house, pushing him back. Instead of stumbling as I would have, he swiftly lifted both legs, hugging my hips. That move itself turned me on. My hands scooped under his ass, pressing him against me as I nibbled his lip affectionately.

He was just as impatient as I was, rocking his hips against me eagerly. I grunted, feeling his hardness. Boy, someone was eager for fun.

"Shut up and take me upstairs." He growled, jerking his hips against me. I didn't think to ask whether we had company or not. I climbed the stairs quickly, holding him against me as to not lose grip.

"Hurry." He whined after I was able climb the first flight. My legs picked up speed, knocking what felt like a stone wall aside.

"Whoa!" I heard Emmett yell out. He shot both hands up, watching us pass. His eyes were wide with shock and curiosity as he laughed out at the scene we were making. I heard him mumbling something about always being right as I climbed the next flight, Edward moaning in my arms.

Edward's arms shot out behind him, just as we reached his room. The door creaked open revealing something I didn't expect there at all; a big ass bed.

When the hell did this happen?

"It was a gift from Esme." He panted as I threw him against the mattress. I really didn't know how to digest that answer. He laughed, "It's for you to sleep on."

I leaned over him, hands resting on either side of his head, my lips grazing against his, "You sure about that, baby?" I teased. He closed his eyes momentarily, inhaling deeply as if he just remembered how to breathe.

Did I just put him in a sex stupor? I never did that before. I lowered my lips on his cool skin, pecking the hollow dip above his collarbone before suckling the skin there. I parted his legs with my knees, cupping him through his jeans. His back arched under me, so he could press himself against me. I fingered the tip of his cock through the fabric, grinning at the way his pants tented up. It must be painful.

"Jacob," He whimpered, "Don't tease." My hands moved, finding his and gripping them.

I kissed his nose, noticing how he growled at my patronizing response, "I would never do such a thing." I chuckled, licking his lips suggestively.

"Mmm, fuck me." He whispered, grinding up towards me.

Fuck me? Being away for a day had its benefits, but I'm not sure I'd be able to endure that pain again. I felt that shortness of breath again.

Fine. He'd get it his way for now.

My hands fumbled with his jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping like a true novice.

**xXx**

I awoke for what had to be six hours later. The sun was at an odd angle in the sky, annoying me to consciousness. I turned over, groaning out at raw flesh touching what felt like cold stone. I must have overdone it last night. My eyes cracked open, coyly watching what Edward was doing.

I forgot that being sneaky with this one was out of the question.

Dark eyes peered at me amused.

I sighed, relaxing on the bed. "Did you seriously watch me sleep all night?"

"I did." He said nonchalantly like I asked him if he fed the dog.

"Should I?" He teased.

Wow. I turned on my side, my back to him, "Whatever." I grumbled.

He took the initiative to spoon me, giving me butterfly kisses along my spine. "You play movies." he snuggled his head in the crook of my neck, kissing the skin there. I laughed despite myself. I have the misfortune of being ticklish.

"Movies?" I finally caught on to what he said.

"Your dreams." He inhaled deeply.

"And what did I dream about?"

"Hmmm," He seemed to be thinking for a while, "As you know, dreams are riddles and puzzles that are hard for a person to decipher let alone an outsider."

"Was I riding a pony naked or something?"

I felt his lips smile against my skin, "That would be a sight." He laughed, "You were running through fields, making love to me, playing chess with Rosalie, and swimming with Sam and eating macaroni and cheese with Ronald McDonald."

What the fuck?

"Tell me more about that."

"Eating mac and cheese with Ronald?" Edward asked, "It is kind of self-explanatory. You were in a house I didn't recognize, a beautiful, young woman served the meal to you two. She was badly scarred..."

"I was talking about us making love." I cut him off. Having mac and cheese with Ol' Ronnie sounds more like a nightmare than a dream.

He paused momentarily before speaking, "We were back in that hotel." He spoke softly, "I had you bent over." He added lightly.

As content as I would have been with that visual, I couldn't help thinking of something else he had seen, "And I was swimming with Sam?" Huh, weird.

"...Yeah." He added in a small voice.

I thought about this one for a while. I think I could still vaguely remember. We were far away from shore arguing in the waters. The waves were violent and big. The tide took him under within a second. I remember diving to get him.

I turned in Edward's arms.

"What happened?" I asked. That was all that I could recall. I remember it feeling so real though. We were screaming at each other one minute, then the next...

"Did I find him?"

Edward's hard, frozen stare was enough for me. I didn't save him.

"Hey." He whispered, cupping my cheeks, "It was a dream. Your mind has been overly run with concern for Sam and Quil. You were bound to have a dream about one of them. Doesn't mean it is true."

It didn't feel not true. Sam was near dead and I do have a weird thing for macaroni and cheese. There was some truth to these dreams.

"Would you ever play chess with Rosalie?" He smirked, knowing the answer he was going to get.

"Is that even possible?" I rolled my eyes, "Being that blonde must cause brain damage."

He laughed, kissing my lips happily. He knew how to distract quite well.

"Mmm," He writhed against me, "Now that I answered your question, you have to answer mine."

"And which question is that?"

"Should I feed the dog?" He said with the same crooked smile. My eyes narrowed at the question.

"Sure, sure," I scoffed, "Pancakes with banana slices since you think you can get away with distracting me."

"No." He said gently, grabbing my hand and forcing it under the comforter to touch his arousal. I gasped, completely thrown by the idea that he was rocking a hard on so early in the morning. Who am I kidding? Morning wood is common, right?

"Should I _feed_ the dog?" He whispered against my ear sexily. His hand guided mine up and down along his hardness, giving me a vivid picture of what he had in mind.

I never had seen him like this. So sexually demanding and coy. Being absent for over a day had its perks.

My gaze met his and I couldn't help noticing what looked like fire clouded by smoke. His eyes were darker than night and oddly cold.

"Maybe we should feed the vampire first." I suggested. He closed his eyes, pulling away from me and sitting up.

Well at least it was nice to know that he was the same man I left two days ago.

"You know eating might lighten you up a bit and not make you act out your frustrations sexually." He winced at that comment making me quickly regret what I just said. I should really think before saying something so mindless.

"It's not mindless to think that," He said lowly, eyes still shut, "I am frustrated and thirsty, but...you are the only thing that can satiate that."

Well, that is an overstatement and just not perfectly descriptive of me, "No, I agitate things." I half joked. He opened his eyes, locking them with mine. He obviously disagreed.

"You need _real _sustenance," I deepened my voice, trying to have some sort of authority, "As much as I wish that my kisses and cum were enough, the reality is blood keeps you alive."

That's when he did it. His darkened eyes were concealed with long lashes, fluttering lightly as his lips were drawn out into a pout, "I can't leave you." He whimpered.

Not going to work.

He lowered his head onto my lap, snuggling again, but this time against the comforter over my naked body. I could feel the pressure along my cock. Of course there was an instant response. He kissed the growing bulge, moans muffled by the fabric.

Will...breaking.

"You're cheating." I hissed, not able to push him away.

"Let's stay in all day," He said, "I promise to feed tomorrow."

"Now, Edward." I growled. Why does my body respond so quickly? I was already losing focus.

My turn to cheat.

"Emmett." I said in the same leveled voice, causing Edward's head to shoot up from my lap.

"Yo!" I heard him respond from downstairs.

"Take him out to brunch." Edward's eyes narrowed.

I could hear Emmett's low chuckle, "Got it."

"You don't want me around." Trying to guilt trip. Not going to work.

"Okay, now you sound like a baby." I tsked, "And that's sad for someone who is over 100 years old."

Edward tried again this time pressing his lips against my temple gently before hissing in my ear, "But I want to feed my puppy."

My cock wouldn't stand down. I shifted under his weight, hoping he wouldn't grope again. Automatically his hand fell to my lap.

It was dumb to think about it.

"You'll get that chance, freak." He was uncommonly horny. If there was anyone pushing sex, it was me. How odd was it that not even a few days ago he would have denied me any touching, now that is all he wanted to do. I sat fully up, pulling the quilt off of me and getting a groan in response.

"Jake," He used that damn nickname again, causing me to halt in mid-stance. I had barely gotten my feet on the ground when he uttered that word. I looked at him, surprised to see a ferocious hunger in his eyes. He really needed a good blood soup.

"You okay?" I asked, taking in the wonder of his dark eyes. I never had seen them that way. It made him look dangerous.

"Let me just...please." He licked his lips.

What? I looked down and felt a tinge of heat rise in my face. I was rocking a massive hard-on. I sighed. I was going to need to take a cold shower.

"Love, let me handle that," He got up on his knees, inching his way across the bed, "that's what I'm here for."

"Edward..."

"Let me suck you off." I had to grab the headboard of the bed to keep balance. What was going on in that pretty head of his to make him such a horny mess? I inhaled deeply, realizing that was a big mistake. His scent excited me to the breaking point.

I have to be the adult here.

"Your health is more important than a boner, okay?"

"There is no such thing as vampire health." He scowled.

"Okay." I hated to do this, but it was the only choice I had, "Then what about mine. Don't want another slip now do we?" I tried to say as lightly as possible, leaning over to slap his cheek softly. His irises now looked like coal aflame.

"Emmett," I raised my voice a bit, throwing on my jeans, "I owe you a game of Connect Four." I promised. I walked towards the door, thinking only of the cold shower I needed to take. I felt the heated gaze on me, but didn't look back. There was no way I could keep a strong resolve for so long.

**Edward**

_8 hours before_

He collapsed onto me, breathing heavily and whimpering as his shrinking arousal slipped out of me. I petted his black hair, kissed his tanned skin and carefully rolled him to his side so he had a more comforting item to sleep on rather than my hard chest. He sighed contently, instinctively turning towards me to wrap an arm around my waist. I tried again to pry him from me. He'd only shiver in his sleep if he connected his body with me too long. I couldn't help but laugh out at the way he whined tiredly as I attempted to roll away from him. I gave in, holding him against me as I inhaled the zesty smell of his shampoo mixed with sweat and his juices. The feeling of his chest rising and falling against me was enough to lull me to sleep if possible. Instead I lay under him, completely overwhelmed at the heavenly euphoria I was experiencing. I knew I should be angry with myself at such a selfish joy I got from having him physically with me, driving his energy in my body, releasing his emotional frustrations within me until he was spent and tired only to nestle next to _me_. The sexual thrill surged in my body in just a short time. It seemed that whatever the painful separation did to me, heightened my drive for him as time passed.

I inhaled his scent again, kissing his damp forehead whispering against his skin how much I need him. My hand disappeared from sight, automatically fondling what was already getting hard at the playback of the last hour. I bit my lip holding in any moans that would sneak out. It was bad enough that during our lust drunken sex, the whole family heard. They didn't need to experience me releasing some post sex energy.

I shuddered violently under him, getting a rush of visuals. I recognized the hand and body. I was getting a personal view of him touching himself. He was dreaming about this? His hips jerked into his fist. I could even see his toes curl and uncurl under his touch. It was so vivid as if a memory rather than a dream.

A pale hand landed on his thigh. His eyes rose meeting gold ones. He was looking at me. I fell in between his legs, kissing up his thigh only to stop right above what his big hands stroked so nicely.

"Suck me." He mumbled in his sleep. I had to oblige. I carefully, slid from under him, climbing down to meet his awakening cock. I used the movie in his head as a tutorial, kissing along his hip bone, holding his legs apart in each hand. I nibbled his thigh affectionately, noting how in his dreams I was now suckling his sensitive flesh hidden under the base of his cock. I followed suit, sucking hard and letting it go with a satisfied pop. His legs jerked under the bed. I was surprised to hear him moan my name. I now licked his tip waiting patiently for his dream to form again into another visual. When the movie in his head cleared up, I gasped onto his hardness seeing him bent over the mattress of the bed. I was holding his ass in my hands, spreading them so I could get in deeper, groaning with every loud collision of soft flesh to what sounded like stone.

To make love to him in his sleep would surely wake him up, so instead, I suckled him in my mouth and with tender care slipped two of my fingers in him, stretching the skin slowly until I was able to match the speed and strength of my movements in his dream. He bucked against me, crying out soft moans. He was already close. I bobbed on him relentlessly, waiting for his orgasm in the dream. He gripped the mattress under him, yelling out my name as I did him with unrestrained strength.

The bed he was on was deathly familiar.

It was a bed he once nearly lost his life on.

We were back in the hotel and I was without restraint once again. I froze, waiting for something. I wasn't sure what.

"Ungh, Edwa..." His voice trailed off. His body now flat against the surface of the bed, his hands ripping the fabric under him as I used force into his fragile, human body. He stiffened under me. I knew what was coming. I suckled him again without hesitation, scissoring my fingers inside him before matching my speed in his dream again.

"I love you." He mumbled gently in his sleep, before shoving all of himself into my mouth. I sucked him in, tonguing his tip. I was happy with the guttural moan I heard. I drank all of him in, swallowing eagerly before kissing his tip until his body was completely relaxed.

"I love you too." I whispered back, kissing his hip bone before sliding back up his body.

He cuddled against me once I was next to him again and for a moment it was as if nothing had happened. The movie continued to play. For the next hour, bits and pieces of visuals came and went. Here and there was the ocean, fur and I could have sworn my own eyes again. Finally a clear image opened up. The ocean again. I was familiar with his wet, brown skin against dark blue. He was swimming away from shore, stopping only to turn and be met with dark, brown eyes filled with hurt and anger. The words that left Sam's mouth was marbled in what sounded like a different language. He swam out past Jacob, his naked body expertly moving along the waves. Jacob followed, calling out in warning. I felt my eyes narrow when Jacob's hand touched the bare arm of Sam. They were both naked, wet and heated in anger. I could now see the stoic facade of Jacob's alpha fading, his body shuddering violently at my lover's touch.

Although I didn't understand the words, I was sure of what he said next. "Let go." Jacob's hands hesitated on his forearm before sharply pulling back, watching as he left him. For a second he watched Sam's figure grow smaller, before a high wall of blue water fell over him.

"Sam!" He swam farther out, diving under to see where the tide had taken his friend. He saw nothing. He grabbed wildly, only to come to surface moments later with his hands empty.

"SAM!" He called out again, a strangled scream of fear evident in his voice. I hugged him to me, almost tempted to wake him from his dream. His voice echoed his cries.

"Sam..." He mumbled against my chest. If I hadn't known better I would have been enraged with probable cause. Now, I was enraged with illogical jealousy. I couldn't understand why. Was it the way he touched him? The way Jacob's scream was a reminder of what I felt when I thought Jacob was gone?

He swam out of the water, walking along the shores frantically until the background melted away and was replaced by what looked like a small dining room where a young beautiful woman with almond eyes and black, long hair was setting two bowls on the table. She turned to face Jacob, who was still wet, eyes wide with fear.

"Just in time, boys." I had seen that face before, deeply scared, beautiful smile dragging down to what looked like a grimace. Jacob sat at the table, looking at the bowl, before beginning to eat. I nearly laughed, noticing his new company.

Ronald McDonald grinned darkly at Jacob, motioning his head towards the young woman who was now innocently placing what looked like muffins in the oven.

"Too bad for that one, eh?" He chuckled.

The young women looked behind Jacob, seeing something he couldn't. "Joan! Jean!" She yelled lightly, "Breakfast!"

Jacob still sat at the dining room table, only this time deeply engaged in what appeared to be a game of chess with Rosalie. She laughed, leaning over to whisper words I didn't catch. Jacob smiled timidly before saying, "Checkmate."

And the movie fuzzed. It was like this for a few more hours. I waited patiently, thinking back to Sam and the beautiful scarred woman.

Right as the sun came up, I was able to catch a fuzzy image of feet against brown and green.

Jacob panted, brushing branches and leaves away. I was seeing through his eyes again, taking note of the suffocating, tight trees and wet earth. He wiped his face with a bruised hand before stumbling over something. His body hit the wet earth with a sloppy thud. Was he being chased?

Suddenly the image was gone.

**Jacob**

"And has there been any progress?" I sat comfortably between Esme and the armchair of the couch. Ever since Edward left to go for a quick drink, she pretty much clung on to me like a leech, making a very generous breakfast and even offering to take me to a movie. Edward obviously wanted me there when he got back.

"No. They are barely healing at normal human rate." I heard Embry pause for a second, "How were you able to keep this from Edward so long?" He asked in a hushed voice as if Edward might hear.

"I distracted him." was all I said.

"...Oh." He got the picture.

"Call me if anything happens. I'm going to do my best and find a loophole. I _have_ to get a _professional_ to them."

"I hear that." Embry seemed to hesitate over the line. "You don't think I could sneak them off one at a ti-"

"That won't work."

"What about you coming and taking Sam and I-"

I stared at Esme briefly. Could she hear his side of the conversation, "No, we could make things worse."

"I'll call you if anything comes up, ideas included." He said darkly.

"Alright, I should be down there by tonight." I hung up the phone and thanked Esme for letting me use it.

"No problem." Her voice spoke lightly. I handed her the phone and she was gone within a second placing it on the cradle and was back again on the couch next to me. We remained silent for the next show of whatever was on. I wasn't paying attention. And neither was she.

"Whatever we can do to help, we will, Jacob." The words left her mouth so quickly I thought I imagined it.

I stared at her, a bit relieved that I could speak about this with someone without discussing strategy or battles. "Thank you," There was a 'but' coming, "But, it seems this was meant to be my fight only. Not the Cullens'."

A trace of a frown marked her flawless face, "I'm afraid I disagree."

Yeah, I'm getting a lot of that from this family. I stood up, getting the urge to feel some air. No offense to Esme or the family, but without Edward here, the smell got to me.

"I'm going out to breathe a bit." I tried my best not to offend.

She laughed softly, "Alright." I knew I wasn't going to leave her sight.

I walked out, gulping in the late morning air, wondering when he'd appear from the trees, still as horny as ever. Man, I hope he didn't follow my bad example and carry me to be fucked silly in front of his own mother. That'd be too embarrassing to come back from. I walked onto the land, pacing in front of the edge of the trees, tempted to dive inside for a run.

I felt a strange sensation suddenly like I was being watched. Well, I guess Esme really didn't trust me. I dug my hands in my pocket, planting my feet on the ground before deciding it was best to just sit on the ground. There, I'm not going anyway.

The house phone rang at an annoying shrill only to be cut off later by Esme's soft voice.

Okay, maybe I could get a minute or two with myself.

**Edward**

"Wow, you're in a hurry." Emmett teased, running a few paces behind me. I suppose this meal was something that could be compared to fast food. It was an in and out type of occasion. One Alice and Emmett didn't take so well. Emmett had a knack for playing with his food, and Alice was just obnoxiously picky, but I needed to get back to him.

"He's fine." Alice reassured, "He likes Esme and won't leave her alone." The irony in this was there was little concern over whether Jacob would leave to go back to La Push, but whether I was starting to lose my grip on things. It explained why half the household who accompanied me now were not at all in need of drinking. I stopped running, letting everyone catch up finally.

"Chill out, bro!" Emmett slapped his hand against my back roughly, "I'm sure they are having some girl talk over coffee."

"Or maybe recapping on the first night you two put the bed to use." Alice winked, causing Jasper to cough a bit loud behind her. An action only used for one reason amongst our kind. Rosalie grumbled something, but I couldn't respond. I was already knee deep in the idea that leaving him was a bad idea. Something felt wrong when I left.

"Well, we should be back in an hour," Alice sighed, knowing nothing would rid my worry, "So let's be-oh!" Her body jerked to a halt. I turned to her, taking in the blank stare. It was a brief image, but it was enough.

"Jacob!" I reached for my phone, hitting the speed dial.

"What is it?" Emmett's voice boomed behind me.

"Something is going on." Alice said, her voice shaking, "I can't-" She didn't finish. She was waiting for Esme to answer the phone just as I was.

"Edward," Esme's voice was calm and leveled, "He just stepped outside."

"I need to speak with him, Esme."

"Hold on."

Alice whimpered behind me, "No..."

There was a moment of silence before Esme was back on, "Edward," Her voice was panicked, "He's not here!"


	2. Playing the Game

**Author's Notes: **It seems my brain doesn't function well with my plans. I attempted to start writing the next chapter to DemP and my mind exploded with more ideas for this chapter. Although, I wanted to focus more on Jacob here, it was important that I explain Edward's events as I go through Jacob's just to make the chapter more "hopeful".

Hopefully, I can pause at least for a day of writing on this sucker and spit out the chapter of DemP. It's been TOO long since I updated that. Thanks for reading and thanks for your patience guys.

P.S. Read carefully, quite a bit is being revealed about characters and their _choices._

And with much respect to Meyer, I do not own the characters.

_____________________________________________________________________________

**Chapter Two: Playing the Game**

_Everyone's looking at me  
I'm running around in circles, baby  
A quiet desperation's building higher  
I've got to remember this is just a game_

**Jacob**

The best question to ask myself was where exactly was I and which way was out? I felt pinned by pain. I gasped out, breathing in harshly as the stab increased in pressure. My ribs. Were they broken? I shifted, finally able to acknowledge that my eyes were not yet open. I was finally able to see- barely.

I was in a room. From what I could see, it was an old, abandoned one. The windows were dusty, cracked or broken. The walls were littered with what looked like spider webs and the air was mildewy and dank. I was reminded of the old, hotel room.

I coughed specks of dust, tickling my lungs and yelped out at the added pain that put on my ribs. I wasn't sure I could move. How did I get here? Did I black out? I did my best to piece together the last thing I remembered.

I remember showering. I remember the growl on the other side of the door when Edward realized it was locked. I recalled giving him a quick, dry kiss before he left with his brothers and sissters, irritating him.

I remember the phone call with Embry and the urge for fresh air.

Was this all stress? Did I somehow collapse in my efforts to stay calm and phased in a frenzy, running off somewhere?

Wolves going crazy from too much stress and worry; that is something I don't recall.

I guess there was one option left. James had a plan and it worked.

"I don't remember much of my dad, you see." I expected his casual voice, but what I heard was one that must of fit a teenage girl, possibly my age, "But I do remember going into his shop with mom." Whomever this was, she must of been having a conversation with someone else or herself. There was no way she was talking to me. I looked around the room, my eyes adjusting on a small figure. For a second, I thought it was Alice. The petite frame was so much like hers, but in the dim moonlight, she had opposite features. I inhaled, nothing burned my throat. She was human? The young girl stepped forward, long yellow hair dancing down to her waist like it had a life of its own. She looked so innocent and pure with the exception for the glowing, red eyes. Guess not.

I think I just met another one of James's friends.

"It was odd for them to be together. Not many women like my mom married men like my dad, but there was no denying they were in love." Was she psycho? What the hell was she babbling on about? "When they took me, my dad begged and pleaded. We wore not the star of David. Only him. Yet, my dear boy, I was branded. Not by the bindings of love, but by hate." I stared up at her wide-eyed, unable to tolerate the pain of moving or breathing. I was a prisoner to my broken bones. She knelt by me. The expression in her eyes were curious. I flinched when her hand shot out, collecting what I now felt as a wet, sticky goo at the corner of my mouth. She held her finger to her lips, inhaling deeply, her eyes rolling back before she licked my blood off her fingers hungerily. The suggestive gesture looked repulsive coming from a girl who looked no older than 14.

"I envy your luck." She said sweetly.

I stared at her, completely bewildered. Why were we having this conversation? "My luck? Would that be the part where your friend attacks my own or the part where my bones are broken and I'm kidnapped?"

"You must excuse Joan here." I heard the male voice, "She has a way of being poetic in storytelling. Her and Jean both are just...amusing." another set of red eyes floated toward me. I saw his face, so calm and so relieved. He looked nothing like Paul or any of the pack remembered; so visciously intent on the kill.

"I'm going to kill you." I growled.

"I don't think you're in the position to do so." He replied lightly. I made to look at the small, blonde vampire, but she was already out of sight.

"The same way I have you now, is the same way I can have him." He knelt beside me as the other bloodsucker did, "And he wouldn't see it coming. Just as he didn't see this coming." I shut my eyes, fighting off any urge to scream out in fury or cry. I couldn't let this happen to Edward. "All you have to do is behave and your precious Edward and his friends won't get hurt." He whispered gently, tucking a finger under my chin to lift it up.

I did my best to keep a leveled voice, "What do you want from me?"

He leaned in, his face merely inches from my own "Curiosity killed the cat," his thumb massaged my cheek deftly. I did my best to choke back the bile in my throat, "Must be good that I'm already dead, huh?"

I didn't reply.

"Victoria was expendable, but barely. Everyone is just so _interested_ in you." I had a feeling he wasn't talking about himself, "Everyone will get a turn to play with the little pup."

"And what will _you_ do?" Kill me? Maim me? Play fucking House with me. I'm sure the activities were endless.

"I wonder what Edward would think if his little pet was damaged goods." What a sick, twisted fuck, but there was nothing I could do. Anything was better than him or anyone else I cared about at harm. He could attempt to rip me apart. I'd bite down and take it. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

**Edward**

Looking at her was like looking in the mirror. Her right hand was gingerly placed over heart. It wouldn't have been a miracle if it was still beating. Her eyes were glassed over as she stood that way for what was now 6 hours. Even Carlisle had no means of snapping her out of it, neither could Jasper, who was emotionally exhausted with the effort. Something about seeing her like that, brought me to life. The guilt she felt, the pain she couldn't contain if she was to move or speak. His life was ultimately my life. She would lose two of her own. That was how she seen it.

Alice seemed to work better this way as well. She continiously asked me questions, doing her best to piece together what could have occured. We ruled out the pack hours ago. Alice was more than sure it wasn't them. Something about the flash that we caught. They wouldn't do anything to him. Thinking about it made the world close in on me. Granted, I wasn't frozen in terror as I should be, but my eye sight was dimming, my body growing weary. I was slowly becoming what I should have been a century ago. Perhaps the only will I had left was to hold him in my arms, dead or alive and kill every being that had a play in this.

For the first time in two days I thought about the raven-haired woman who conveniently met me in the forest. She made it so clear that there was more than just her and James. There was another and perhaps more.

Did it ever occur to me that they had skills like her? I turned quickly to Alice, piecing everything together. The presence I felt, meeting her in the small clearing in the forest, James unexpected attack and Jacob's disappearance. One of them had a means of getting past Alice and me and even Jacob and Esme.

There was no sign of a struggle, Esme heard nothing.

Our senses were dulled.

Jasper frowned, picking up my frantic emotions, "Did something come to mind?"

"As a matter of fact..." In a gentle swift of a motion, Esme turned as I spoke, "I felt like I was being watching when I met that vampire. She knew too much to not have seen us up close. One of us would have found them. How did they know to come when most of us were gone? Why attack just Quil and Sam if they were able to infiltrate the whole entire area?"

Carlisle frowned already catching on to what I was about to say. Esme's soft eyes seemed to harden considerably. Everyone was preparing for my next words, "They have an advantage of being unseen because whomever I felt watching me has the skill to be invinsible, dulling our acute senses and they are using that to get what they want."

Carlisle's eyes met mine as a careful hand was placed over Esme's in reassurance, "The ambush on the pack was bait."

"Bait..." Alice muttered lowly to herself, "I don't understand how-"

"They wanted him away from us."

"They had a 24 hour oppurtunity there!" Emmett argued, "Why not take it then?"

I shook my head, already knowing the strategy, "They won't strike with everyone expecting it. They would wait until his down time. Until-" I felt my throat tighten again. If only I could sob, "Until I willingly left him, thinking he was safe."

Esme disappeared from Carlisle's side, "Edward." She whimpered, holding my shoulders, pulling me in a secure embrace.

"They're playing games with us." Alice said darkly.

"Well, fuck it," Emmett roared abruptly, "Game on. Are we taking them on or what?"

From under Esme's arms, I could see Rosalie scowl at Emmett's enthusiasm, "Where are we going to look?" That was the first time I ever felt or heard consideration from her to Jacob.

I pulled my body slightly away from Esme to look at everyone standing, ready, alert. It finally was occuring to me that he was one of us now. He always had been ever since he stepped foot into the house.

We were family.

And it was about time Sam and the pack saw that they were too.

"Maybe with some help we can find out." I spoke up, walking towards the front door.

"Alice," I called, "Jasper." He looked up, both walking toward me. I couldn't do this without Alice and Jasper wouldn't let her go alone without protection, "Come with me."

**Jacob**

I hadn't seen her since her weird introduction, but I was starting to miss her babbling compared to the constant presence of James. I still had no clear reason why I was here. I saw no one new. I remained immobile and docile in hopes that he would at least keep his word while torturing me. So far, it seemed okay.

It couldn't have been more than 6 hours since I awoken in this shithole. James was kind enough to let me rest the first three hours, but the bang of the decaying wooden door opening moments later had let me know that his patience was up. I was instantly thrown against the wall, his hard body pressing into mine as he whispered softly contrary to his death grip, "I would love more than to watch you bleed to death, but I cannot control myself even over your stink." I kept my breathing short, hoping I didn't agitate the sorenes in my healing bones.

"How unfortunate for us both." I replied sarcastically despite my not being in a position to do so.

He merely sneered, exposing some nice, white, intimidating teeth, "Yes. Very." His knee came up between my legs, settling under my ass to keep me on my feet, as his hands gripped my arm like some stone vice. His nose lightly grazed the crook of my neck as I heard him inhale deeply.

"This scent burns. It is disgusting." By the way he spoke, it seemed like he rather enjoyed it.

"Yes, yet your're so close." I choked on a yelp of pain. He was already becoming irritated with me, snapping my right arm. I had heard the crunch and was almost sure that wouldn't be fixable.

"Shh." He whispered, tracing my lips with his fingers. I shuddered. He may as well just get on with it. This "foreplay" of his wasn't exactly woody worthy. I bite my lip, keeping in any whimpers of pain. "Good boy. Hmm, it is too bad you cut off all that hair. It gave a feminine look to you." My back collided with wood. The floor groaned under the force. I would have been lucky if it crack, allowing me to fall under.

It didn't.

Instead, with vampire quickness, James was straddling me, holding my chin roughly with his thumb and fingers, keeping me from turning my head away.

"I'm sure he'll see this soon." He smirked evilly, "Say this for me: 'I want you, James.'"

"N-no." I tried against the wave of pain. He tsked at me.

"If you don't, there will be no home, no lover, no family for you. It is a very easy thing to do."

I thought for a second that my heart stopped. I won't allow that.

I closed my eyes, willing any tears of fury to keep at bay.

"Look at me." He spoke these words so gently, it was almost hard to read the crazed insanity behind them.

I bit my lip, opening my eyes. His smirked widened into a very satisfied grin. Good to see someone was enjoying themselves.I felt his thumb on my lips again, parting them to open my mouth.

I hate you, I hate you- "I want you, James." I panted out in a whisper, making it sound convincing. He wanted me to store this in my memory as a message to Edward and he was going to make sure I remember everything.

His fingers moved down to my neck, choking it tightly, as he leaned in, his lips inches from mine, "I've been denied so long. You think you can help me?"

I knew he wanted an answer, "Yes." I said obediently.

"Good dog."

**Edward  
**

"I'm not sure this is very wise." Jasper tried again, holding Alice behind him. Alice groaned it irritation. She found it unnecesary to need Jasper as protection. If anything, she thought it was wise for him to stay behind_ if_ something happened, not accompany.

"That's why you're here." I said. He heard the authority in my tone and was silent, thinking of Alice instantly. If he had to face a handful of wolves to get to her, he would and my company would be appreciated if I could help.

But he still thought of Alice. And for her safety. Her petite hand held his forearm.

"I will be fine." It didn't ease his worry, but he prepared him. He didn't want to overreact like he had once done with the wolves before.

We were better going to La Push by foot, rather than drive. I didn't want to alert the wolves to an attack and I knew there was a chance to catch one of them by patrolling the area and possibly pursuade to them that we came for the sake of Jacob, nothing else. At that moment, my realized my idea of civil confrontation just might work.

I could hear him, innocently worrying about his father and the well being of the two young men he had seen earlier. I grimaced and felt a rising heat of fury erupt from me.

"Wait here!" I bellowed. They both stopped, frowns suddenly on their faces. They weren't updated on the new information I had just acquired. It would have to wait though. Right now, I needed to be sure this one wouldn't overreact when he saw me.

I ran, following the scent and stopping abruptly when I saw the big figure behind a gathering of trees. He suddenly stopped, catching my scent. His fur stood on edge and I could see the face in mind, the face I longed to ripe apart as well.

"No," I stepped out from behind the trees, "I'm not him, but I am here because of him." The wolf turned towards me, lowering himself down, ears back as if considering an attack. I expected that, but what took me by surprise was the brief pause and the curious cock of his head as his black eyes finally took me in. He was scrambling through images and came across one that had my dead heart pulsing with warm; my face, as I held Jacob to me. A memory recycled from everyone in the pack down to this little one who may or may have not endured the conditioned hatred his pack already had for me.

_Can you hear me?_

"Yes, I can." I nodded, giving a reassuring smile, a weak one, but a smile nonetheless. That image he had only increased the damage I wanted to do on James if that were possible.

_Good, cause I'm a little shy being naked around strangers. Where is Jacob? Everyone is looking for him. Is he with you? OH! Is he hurt, is that why you're here? _He rushed, giving me no chance to answer his first question.

I closed my eyes, trying to tame myself, "What's your name?"

_Seth._

"Seth," knowing his name was perhaps the only thing that would calm me down. This was a young boy, a person, just like Jacob, "Jacob is gone. We believe him to be taken by James, the same man who attacked Quil and Sam. I believe all of us, on both sides of the treaty line, have been fooled."

Sam whined, pawing the ground anxiously as he worked everything out in his head, _Do you think Jacob is..._

"Something tells me that they need him right now, so no," I hesitated, "But I can't be sure it'll stay that way."

_How did he...? I mean, was he taken from you or...?_

"That's another reason why I'm here Seth. I need to alert Sam or any of your elders about your safety. No one is safe, because what you are now looking for is undetectable."

_So 'undectable' that Jacob was taken against his will under 7 vampires' noses. _He caught on quickly. I nodded _Uh oh. This doesn't look good._

My eyes lifted to the sky. We were running out of time. "Seth, how is Sam and Quil handling the last of the venom in them?"

He whimpered, ducking his snout down, _They're dying._

I turned my head toward where Jasper and Alice waited about 10 yards away, "Alice. Jasper." I called. Within minutes they appeared, cautiously stepping towards Seth. Jasper stood in front of her, his body shielding her completely. I turned to Seth, "Take us to them." Seth nodded, turning, running across the jagged earth quickly catching on to the urgency of the situation.

I felt what was left of my sanity, slowly waning. I couldn't hold on much longer. I couldn't dedicate time to playing leader and working a stragedy when time was possibly breaking him. Alice's fingers gripped my shoulder. She saw it. It was a brief and fleeting thought, but she caught it.

_Edward...please. You're doing so well, please hold on a little longer._

**Jacob**

It was my own screaming that woke me up. I was still in that room, but this time I had new company. We hadn't been formally introduced, but we did know each other. She stared down at me, ruby eyes ablaze with intrigue, hard fingers gripping my forearm.

"He is a mild irritance, but he is convenient." She said as if we were in mid-conversation, "But I need be thankful. It is James that ultimately led me to you." I didn't know how to view her. If my eyes served me right, she had just snapped my bones back into place.

"It would be wise not to move so much, Jacob," She said in a very dreamy voice. My eyes adjusted, noticing she had long, flowy black hair that shined. This was who Edward talked about. The woman who approached him a few days ago.

She seemed kind enough so I thought I'd ask, "Where am I?"

She didn't miss a beat, "Somewhere," She answered as if that would satisfy me, "and that should be good enough."

I chuckled dryly, finding that response pretty damn funny. In this absurd situation, she actually had an intention of being humorous. I'd like her if I wasn't broken and taken against my will.

If there was anyone I was going to expect to like in here, I thought it would have been the small vampire, "Where's that blonde girl?"

"Joan is watching James." She said faintly as if she was lost in thought.

Intresting observation, "Something tells me you and James aren't the best of friends." She smirked at my answer.

"Be what it is, I still owe him a debt," a frown passed quickly on her face, before she smiled again.

Maybe she wasn't so bad. Granted, it was obvious she killed humans and had a weird relationship with James. Maybe there was a way to see if she wasn't all...evil. "Did you know what he did to Quil and Sam?"

She nodded, "James knew Joan had been watching you carefully. He knew Joan had witnessed a pecular exchange of emotion between you and your brethren. He wanted revenge. He wanted him to turn." Whoa wait? We were being watched this entire time?

"Why the hell were you watching us?!" I growled, sitting up on the damp, wooden floor. She didn't move back at my advances, nor did she blink.

"It would be wise not to move too much with broken bones." She said, motioning me to lean against the mildew wall. I did as she instructed, waiting for an answer.

"We're curious." she said, her voice humming in that dreamy tone, "And we learn by keen observation."

"But how-" I moved my arm in efforts to move toward her. She raised an eyebrow and my arm instantly came down.

"Joan has a talent." She worded slowly.

My mind snapped to attention. I thought of Alice and her precog skill, Jasper and his emotion thingy and of course- I gulped at the thought of him. Not now. And this vampire. I remember she could see things too. So that could easily mean that her blonde friend possibly had some magic voo doo ofer her own. I thought on it for a second, trying to reenact our first meeting. She talked, walking towards me, talking of her father, the star of David. I thought she was human at first. Why?  
Then it all came to me, "I couldn't smell her!" I shouted out, quickly regretting it when my ribs ached.

"Joan numbs senses. In your or any other vampire's case, that would even be the extra sensitive ones. That even includes any extra skills a vampire may have." She stopped immediately. Uh oh, I guess I was getting too much information.

"Like reading thoughts or seeing the future." I stated to myself. She nodded curtly, but didn't say anything else, "Look. Who am I going to tell? You guys have me and made it obvious that you'll do whatever you want to me. The possibility of me dying, not seeing anyone again is high, so what do you have to worry about?" And at that moment, I realized two things: I have possibly lost a bit of sanity, trying to make my capturer feel better

And.

I just might never see Edward again.

* * * *

The floor felt wet and weak under me, groaning when I hit it with force repeatedly. I sucked feverishly on my lip, making sure the liquid never left my mouth. I had bit my lip so hard in the efforts to keep from reacting to the pain, I began to break through the skin.

My body ached to the point of feeling the tugs of blackness pulling me in deeper. My entire being screamed from pain, more than my body could ever. The invisible rope between me and Edward was straining under the distance and time of seperation.

I was getting rope burn.

He leaned against me, his teeth met my skin and his lips closed around it, "I want to taste you. I want to know what it's like."

I closed my eyes, gripping my one functioning hand into a fist. My ribs weren't even healed, and yet they were getting battered in once again.

"Would this change anything?" He whispered into my ear, "Would he still want you after I'm done?"

I shuddered under him, doing my best to silence my whimper. If there was anything that broke me, it was that. He laughed visciously, forcing himself against me again, stretching my insides.

I was losing control of my body. Each limb went limp. I finally lost consciousness.

_"Edward..."_

I woke up screaming again. I was able to manage pushing the memory out for the past few hours while awake, but in my dreams it replayed. I shivered, thinking how much of a disappointment I was to myself. And I was doing so well. I tried again, thinking back to the conversation I had with the black haired vampire. Since she was able to open a bit of her secrets to me, I explained briefly what intrigued her the most; what tied me to Edward. How was I able to get through that without cracking the first time? No wonder I had nightmares. I shook, curling up into a ball when I took in what exactly was happening to me. I would never see him again. I'd kill myself and save them the trouble if it wasn't for the fact that James demanded I "be good". The only hope I had was that they kill me when they were done. It was too late to try to pursuade the sane, nice vamp to let me go. I was now "damaged goods" and better off dead and forgotten. Edward would understand.

I felt the sudden shiver and the familar burn. I willed myself calm. I couldn't do this, not now. Please, not now. I needed something to keep me at bay. The only thing I had. I willed my eyes closed, thinking back to the last quick, restrained kiss I gave him. I imagined that kiss growing stronger, my arms wrapping around him as he happily responded, enjoying that I was done denying him. I pictured him pulling away, kissing my face in random places as he usually did, breathing out the words, "I love you."

My body relaxed instantly, but a new wave of shudders took over me.

I could only do this once and make it quick. My throat exploded in the sob as I belted his name. I hope James enjoyed hearing this, because this was the only satisfaction he'd get.

**Edward**

We had waited in a small clearing only a few yards away from Jacob's home. Seth disappeared, only to come back a few minutes later dressed in jeans.

He was so young, but his face shone with what could have only been years of conditioned tolerance and a warm heart. He was definately a black sheep amongst his pack and I was forever thankful for running into him.

"I got Embry to come. He is on his way." He had an apologetic expression on his boyish face, "I'm sorry, he is really the only other person that I can trust to not freak."

"It's okay, Seth." Alice spoke sweetly beside me, "We truly appreciate your help."

His cheeks flushed under the brown skin and he stammered on, "He told me that he was suppose to meet up with Jacob. They were working on a way to find a loophole in Sam's orders."

This grabbed my attention, "Sam had orders?"

"Before he went out, Sam ordered them not to get a doctor to help him. He doesn't want others knowing. Well, Jacob was already making plans to have your dad take a look at him, but his father and the other elders won't allow it."

"And the venom?" I asked. Jasper froze at the word and Alice stared at me, upset I hadn't shared this with her.

"Alot of it was taken by Jacob, the minute he got to Quil. He said he was the only one that could, but, what's left of it is already killing them." He stopped, turning away so I couldn't see the glass effect the tears had in his eyes, "Quil won't even wake up." Jacob hadn't thought or told me this. He was keeping to Sam's orders, knowing I'd get myself involved to spare him the pain of losing them.

It seemed I was at a crossroads. I needed Jacob's pack and they unknowingly needed me. There was no use, disappearing to find Jacob when I couldn't even get a hold of his scent. His life was too important to lose myself and him at the same time.

I thought back to my quick run-a-away act after I had bitten him. Things changed. There was no running away to have a moment to myself. I get no moment. I needed to act _now._

"Where's Sam and Quil?"

"At Emily's." Seth answered. He looked from Alice to me, trying to figure out what I was thinking.

"Take me to them."

Alice stepped in front of me, eyes hard and alert, "Edward, what are you going to do?"

_Pursuade them?_

"I'm going to take the venom out."

____________________________________________________________________

**AN: **Finally, you see a bit of the mysterious bad guys. There is a detailed history about them that I may never get the chance to fully reveal in the chapters, just because it'd seem too storytelling when they talk about it, but I am pretty much giving these two (Joan and the black haired woman) some layers for characterization. Hope you caught on to what Joan was discussing in the beginning. Perhaps you can even determine from what she said when she was sired.

I meant to go more into Jacob's and James's "interactions" in this chapter. They were going to be pretty painful, but I think I'll hold back until next chapter.

More will be discussed on why Jacob is "interesting" to Joan and the black haired lady and what they may need him for.

Thanks again for reading. ;)

Lyrics by 30 Seconds to Mars- A Beautiful Lie.


	3. Venom

**AN: **Alright, it is here. I'm not sure how many readers I have left on this, but I figured I needed to finish this entire series at least for me. It is also a good creative juice flow for me since school is robbing me of it. Hope it satisfies the wait.

Do not own characters

_______________________________________________________

**Chapter Three:** **Venom**

**Edward**

_That's right  
Deliver it to my heart  
Please strike  
Be deliberate_

"No." She demanded, "Wait. Think about this for a minute Edward. What if they attack? What if something happens?"

"It won't." My eyes met with the gold ones behind her.

"And how do you know?"

"Because we have Jasper." He nodded back to me at the statement, letting me know I was right. My eyes turned to the young boy, "And Seth and Embry. There is no way they can attack."

She stared at me hard, not taking it in, "No. We're crossing the line. They have the right to attack."

"It doesn't matter."

"Ed-" He grabbed me, making sure I didn't go anywhere.

"Are you even thinking about Jacob?" I said icily, watching her grimace and pull away from me. Seth paused in front of me, turning to see how she would react.

"Of course I am." She replied through gritted teeth. Jasper stepped beside her, easing both our anger. I could hear the confusion with Seth and the frustration of Jasper and the tone I used.

"You're not the only one who cares about him, Edward." Jasper said calmly, "This is not just about you. Everyone wants him found, but we want to make sure we're all alive to do it."

But I'm not alive. Metaphorically and physically. Without him, I'm pretty much fertilizer. I relaxed my tense muscles anyway, lifting my eyes to meet the young, confused boy. I'm sure he knew little truth about us and was cautious as to being here when one of us lost a temper. His initial concern at the moment was for Alice. Her small, petite form, was under Jasper's, his body shielding her like a child. He was concerned if she was okay. Jasper caught that as well, giving him a weak smile.

"She'll be fine."

I was again, struck with another realization that night; Jacob had changed everything and everyone. It was because of him, I was able to meet and appreciate the help of a kid from the Quileute pack willing to help. It was because of him, Jasper was able to smile at a teen wolf and not worry about his blood lust for once. Granted, it wasn't under these circumstances that I wanted this, but it would have happened nonetheless. Jacob's desire to keep the peace and stay close with his home would have brought us together despite our hate.

I shut my eyes momentarily, doing my best not to think of him. I needed a straight head. I was doing well so far. Just another hour and we'll be on our way. I needed to gain their trust and their help. I nodded to Seth again who led the way.

* * * *

It didn't take long until we came across the barrier of wolves blocking our path. I recognised little in this form, but judging by their own frequencies, I could guess who was who; Paul, Jared and a female one I don't think I ever knew about. Their stance was hostile and their thoughts befuddled, trying to understand why three of us were here with their own who appeared remarkably unharmed.

_And here I thought my day couldn't get better. _Paul growled, his tongue licking his teeth suggestiely.

_Cool it man. They don't seem like they're here for a fight. _Jared attempted to keep his friend from doing anything unwise. Good. At this moment, if one of them got in my way, I'd have to cripple them.

_Seth, you fucking tool! _the girl wolf crouched real low, eyeing me who was closer to the young one in front of me. _I hope you know what the hell you're doing!_

"He does." I stated, "He's only with us because I came here to inform you-"

_That's what Jacob is for. _The girl spat harshly, clearly showing no affection for him. I clenched my jaw, inhaling just for the comfort of having something to do while I calmed down. Jasper was already taking control.

"If you were any the wiser, you would have figured that something has happened to him." I replied, not meeting eye contact with her, but with Paul. All three wolves tensed. Many scenerios played in their heads, all involving me killing him. I couldn't handle it. I felt that familar involutary pain. I was dying all over again. I bent down, covering my head in an attempt to hide from the thoughts.

"Edward!" I could hear Alice yell out behind me.

"If I know you idiots, you're probably assuming it was him that did something." Seth said darkly above me, "Whatever you're doing, stop! Can't you see he can't take it?"

_Good._ The girl said visciously.

"That vampire took Jacob!" Seth yelled angerily. I did my best to compose myself, standing on my two feet with my head up to see their eyes.

"It was right under our noses. We smelled nothing, I heard nothing, Alice saw nothing." I said as quickly and as swiftly as I could, "One of them can dull our senses."

_When did this happen? _

_Where is Jacob?_

_God, leave it to that leech lover to get kidnapped and killed._

It took alot of effort and restraint on my part to not kill her. I was more than certain it was Paul that would have given me problems.

"We don't know where he is, that's where we need your help." I could see their eyes shift between us now, "I want to get an exact location of where you found James and perhaps we can start from there."

_What makes you think we'll help?_

_Leah, this is Jacob we're talking about here!_

_And a leech! This could be a trick for all we know!_

"You're going to help me, because I'm going to help you. For whatever reason you wanted to keep doctors from seeing from Quil and Sam it's killing them. You had our help offered to you from my father and you denied it, but you're not denying me. I'm taking the venom out of the both of them, because what your pack needs right now is someone who can help rid the venom." My body bent slightly, hoping that could dull the pain a bit, "Don't be foolish and deny help to them just because of what I am."

Seth looked between us, waiting for their yes. He scowled, when they didn't move, "Fine!" He yelled out, "I'll take you guys to them." He assured us, walking towards the small gap between Paul and the female wolf. She snarled aggressively, snapping at him.

_They're going nowhere._

Seth jumped back, yelling out in anger. On instinct, me, Alice and Jasper jumped back, hearing a rather distinct _pop _noise, watching the young wolf phase.

_You're heartless, Leah! _Seth seethed.

_They're not going anywhere near Sam._ I followed the conversation in amazement, picking up on the thoughts that flashed in her head and the echoes of what she caught from the alpha. A familar feeling washed over me as I saw a pretty young woman with a scar on her face. I remember her from Jacob's dream. She had a tie between Sam...

A tie similar to Jacob and mines.

_I'll make sure they will._

Jasper, placed Alice behind him, even as she argued. He had lost his control momentarily in hopes of keeping her safe, but now under his control, Leah, the girl amongst them shrunk down a bit, her anger still raging, but controlled.

_Leah, back the hell down. You're not going to attack your own brother. _Paul demanded. I stared at the two wolves, finding it absurd that two completely different personalities could be so strongly related.

I felt the traces of another wolf entering the pool of sent a message.

_Turn back. Make sure Edward and the two vampires he is with get there._ He said to Embry, giving him a brief flashback of the last 20 minutes. I could hear his reply echo in my head. I lost my train of thought, wondering how far apart they could be with that communication.

"Is everything alright?" Jasper said lowly to me, hoping not to draw too much attention.

"Jacob's friend will be waiting for us where the harmed ones are."

**Jacob**

_Wait  
I'm starting to suffocate  
And soon I anticipate  
I'm coming undone  
One look so strong so delicate_

To say sleep was an escape would be an understatement. I found it became what consciousness was before. I felt alive and had the freedoms to do as I pleased when I pleased to do them. I touched him and gave him all that he kept me from giving in the past. I ate breakfast with Sam and the pack and actually went to school. I had a life when I wasn't awake and I was becoming more comfortable with it.  
How long was I here? A day, two maybe? I couldn't tell. The lack of food and light made it easier to just fall under a long, dreary weakness I never felt before and that's something conidering I actually died for a minute.  
I woke up once again to the black-haired girl. I could now see her in a dim, waving light. It was as if she was waiting for me to get up. The hand below her waist motioned to the floor and she spoke softly, "I found campers." I thought for a second maybe she lost it like her blonde little friend, until I saw a black lump on the ground. The first thing I thought was a body. I sat up quickly, feeling my ribs ache in soreness, and my arm tingle in pain. Why would she bring a body to me?  
My hunger was giving in to illusions. I glanced at the lump again. It was too small for a human body, unless it was a child, but it wasn't. It was one of those I-shop-at-a-outdoorsmen-store backpacks. It looked heavy for one weak person to carry and it was bulkier than I suppose it should have been.  
"What's in it?" I asked, curiously. My throat was dry, so the words came out groggy.  
She cocked her head like an amused cat, causing the black locks of her hair to fall over her face, "It has what you need, I suppose. You sleep like a newborn baby, so you must be as weak as one." That was something interesting to say to someone you kidnapped. She couldn't possibly need my strength for something. Afterall, I'm still human, so vampires had a bit of the upperhand in the muscles department. She caught on to my expression.  
"I don't want you dead, Jacob," Something about the way she said my name gave me chills. Or maybe it was because she _knew _my name, "Quite the contrary. I want you healthy and alive, but you and I are in a measured predicament." She said softly, almost too softly. I had to strain to hear even with skilled hearing.  
"And what would that be?"  
"You'll know soon enough." She turned, walking towards the entrance of the dingy room, "Eat." And she was gone.  
I stared at the backpack and pieced two and two together. The campers had food. I leaned towards it, doing my best to drag it towards me. I was drained in every way possible and I wasn't sure if being full would exactly make me stronger at all. I inched the bag forward as best as I could, then unzipped it. The first thing I saw was the gallon of water on its side. The sight of it reminded me how dry and chapped my lips were. I opened it eagerly and lifted it to my lips. It was a task within itself. I was only able to hold it up for one gulp before it collapsed next to me, wetting the entire left side of my chest. I stared at the water pooling by me for a second. I lifted the jug again, this time, allowing some of the water to cascade over my bare chest. Over whatever span of time I was here, the only article of clothing I had left to me in one piece happened to be my jeans, but it was only for the mere fact that James enjoyed the internal battle it took for me to get them to my ankles. The asshole wanted me to undress, so it could remind me _who_ I was undressing for. Talk about a psychological brainfuck.  
It was after I was done cleaning off the grit and filth of the dirty room and my imprisoner, when I felt a sudden surge of energy. I dug deeper in the bag, pulling out ziplocked sandwiches and fun size chips. It didn't occur to me until that moment that Ms. Raven actually brought food for me, but at what cost? I stared at the food, still hungry, but wondering whether or not what I was doing in moral standing. Would eating this food be condoning the possible murders this vampire made?  
It only took me a second to make up my mind. Whatever happened, happened. I opened the wrapped sandwiches, eating them like bite sized candies. If they were dead, there was nothing I could do about it. All that was left was me and the strength I needed to stay on Ms. Raven's good side and hopefully an agreement of some kind could be made. I couldn't just give up, not when the safety of everyone wasn't guarenteed. If I couldn't save the campers, all I had that was left was keeping myself alive, so I can save the rest.  
I forgot how much my body ached. I was so immune to the pain, that I only realized it probably an hour or so after digging through the bag. I knew it was more psychological than anything, but it felt like my body was healing with remarkable speed. I was finally able to sit up and move around, stretching my muscles without the stings or aches from my ribs and arm. I felt better, less defeated and a bit defiant. The idea of escaping was on the edge of my brain, even though such a risk could have my own killed.  
But again, everyone wasn't safe, just because James said so. Matter of fact, I doubt he was the one in control.  
And as I paced there, something occured to me again. Recalling back to James first physical assault, he mentioned getting something across to Edward.  
It was like a bell went off in my head.  
I _was _going to see Edward, but at what cost and to whom? There was alot more going on here than what I was seeing.

**Edward**

I could see the crossroads breaking off in the minds of the wolves behind me. They were thoroughly confused by my determination and haste and the simple audacity to appear on their own land without a warning and with company. The calmer of the three, Jared, had already made up his mind as well as Seth's sister, but it was Paul I felt would tip the scale. Seth held his ground between us and them, which sadly at this point, shouldn't be necessary.  
I was pushing on patience, "We're going whether you condone it or not, but I recommend coming along. It'll be a _wise _decision."

_Hear, Hear._ Seth added dryly. The annoyance was evident in him.  
When no one spoke, I gave a nod to both Alice and Jasper, letting them know it was time to move on and meet up with Embry who was waiting for us about a mile north of where we were located.  
Although, their consent made things easier, I really didn't need it as a marker of whether to go forward or not. It wasn't quite clear to them yet, but Jacob was the weighing factor here and to help them, I'd be helping him. It was something I knew as a fact.  
We kept to our own speeds in order to reach Embry in a timely fashion. When we did find him, he had already paced a trail between the clutter of trees, creating a small wolf-width clearing.  
"Embry?" I tested. He looked on the edge of his nerves.  
_Quil woke up, but he looks a bit out of it. _The timbre of his thoughts were violently frightened. He already knew about Jacob missing and that had him near inoperatable. _I don't know if you guys can do anything. _  
I felt Jasper stir next to be.  
"Jasper." I stated, already knowing what he was about to ask. Embry whined at the moment, finally calming under Jasper's spell.  
"Is he okay?" Alice asked urgently, "Are Sam and Quil...?"  
I shook my head, "No, but we're losing time." I faced Embry, feeling the contagion of his fear, "Guide us to them."  
The dead silence between the pack, alerted me that they all were waiting with baited breath. It was when Embry nodded his snout down, a simultaneous agreement was made.  
_I can't believe I'm going through with this. _Paul gave in.  
Seth's sister, although against the plans, knew she had no control in our comings and goings, so settled with watching over Sam.  
"We're going to have little trouble from the pack." I alerted my companions.  
"That's not good." Alice replied darkly, "Because that means things are really bad."  
"Desperate times, Alice."

It didn't take Jasper to tell me the tension was thick when were came into view. From where we stood, I could see Jacob's father clearly in front of what Embry pointed to be Emily's house. He could not see us at the distance we were at, but I'm sure he'd get informed soon enough.  
Alice sighed beside, agitated that she could not foresee what would happen the second we did step in sight.  
"We'll be fine." I assured, catching Seth's conversation to Embry.  
"How do you know?"  
I watched across the distance as Jacob's father settled his chin in his chest in exhaustion. He hadn't seen his son for a day and was wondering where he could be. He heard nothing from him and the pack had no contact with him as of yet, even though they tried. He was starting to worry.  
"Edward." Alice spoke calmly, but the edge in her tone was of worry.  
"Seth is leading the rest to meet up with Jacob's father before we arrive," I held in the aching temptation to go insane. Just saying his name caused a series of jolts to my body, "They're going to tell him about Jacob, keep him occupied."  
Alice jumped from under Jasper's shadow as we walked towards the lone figure yards away "Is this what Seth told you?"  
"No, I got it from the message he sent to Embry." The massive figure beside us quickened pace. Seth and the rest were close. They were to intercept us in path so we could get in without a problem. As much as the pack consented to our visitation and offer of help, the elders didn't, no matter how we would have tried. I thanked Seth immensely for his knowledge of this and was personally surprised that someone so young and new to this lifestyle could handle it so well. Perhaps, that's what made it so easy for him.  
"Alice," I started, preparing myself for the next few minutes, "I don't know your limitations, but I'll need you to keep them down. Jasper, if you can't hold back, wait here. We have no room for error."  
"I'm coming inside." His voice was levelled and sure. He was certain of himself and that's what I needed at this moment.  
"I'll go for Quil first," I assessed, "From what I caught, he seems worst off and is closer. What I need for you two to do is keep Sam down as I try. He's naturally going to assume otherwise."  
They both nodded.  
"We need to make this quick. The quicker we assemble them together to get information, the better."  
And with that, we followed behind the shadow of Embry, dodging from sight right as he came to BIlly Black's view. With quickness unknown to a human, we were inside a nestled warm, house where a beautiful young women stood in the kitchen misplaced and upset. We kept silent, watching as she went about the kitchen in a haze, giving us a profile view.  
My mind raced at the sight of her and I pieced a puzzle together. I could now see the scarring on her body and noted the setting behind her. This was the exact girl and kitchen from Jacob's dream.  
I was momentarily caught off guard, even as she turned to face us, her eyes widening in horror. She dropped the silverware she was holding, allowing it to crash to the gound as she took careful steps back, but I was surprised then as she decided to dive towards us instantly, only to rush across the space between, throwing her arms wide out. She was shaking, but held her place.  
"I don't know why you're here." She said weakly, "And every part of me wants to trust you like Jacob does, but please, if there is anything you hold against Sam, for the sake of his health, let it go."  
"Emily," Her arms dropped at her name being said, but she kept her spot in front of us, "We're here _for_ his health."  
A tear fell from a perfect, almond eye, "Embry..." She said softly, "He did it?" I felt a comforting assurance, now seeing the willingness of her wanting outside help as well. She was only thinking of the two boys' lives, especially Sam's. Her bond to him was as strong as mines to Jacob. Her entire existance was based around him.  
"Emily," I said as calmly as I could, now at a level off understanding and compassion with her. She had as much to lose from this as I did, "We're going to do what we can to save Sam."  
She shook, closing her eyes and willing my words to be so.  
"I promise on all that I love, I will try." I spoke, hoping she'd understood, "Do you trust me?"  
It took a few seconds, but the lifting and dropping of her head told me she did.  
"Emily," Alice spoke softly, something about her high feminine voice appealed to Emily a little better, "We're going to take the venom out of his body. We're going to try to save him."  
"Okay," She shook, eyes levelled with mine now, "I trust you, because I trust Jacob."  
I didn't hesitate. I ran past her, into a cramped room with two seperated twin beds, occupied by two bodies, legs jutting off the edges of the mattress, both covered by thin, blankets.  
Two days since they had been bitten, going on three. Jacob took out most of the venom, what he could, but even at this point they should have been dead. Why weren't they? I leaned over Quil's form, listening to the pulse of his body, following what I could of the venom's progression. I knew I was going to have break skin and it was possibly going to get bloody.  
"Jazz," I said smally, "This may get messy." I warned.  
"I'll be fine."  
"Jasper," Alice confronted, "You don't have to be here-"  
"I have control." He reaffirmed, "There's no option not to. We need to do this for Jacob." I was as taken back as Alice who appeared to want to kiss him at the moment.  
"Keep an eye on Sam," I said, lowering the blanket from Quil's bare chest. Emily watched anxiously in the doorway, biting her lip and whimpering as I took a single fingertip along Quil's left chest, breaking the skin just over his heart.  
I needed to get to the powerhouse for blood; the heart.

* * * *

**Jacob**

Pacing was becoming pointless. I was physically healthy, but my mind was mush and I still felt like 50% of my strength was still missing. I knew it had alot to do with the distance between me and _him._  
I was surprised I didn't see James yet. Something in that alone was unnerving although I was glad as hell I didn't have to deal with him. I didn't want a third encounter of any kind.  
I settled for a corner. I tucked my feet under me, lowering my body until my ass was at my ankles. The whole room stank of swollen wood and rusted nails and a faint hint of the doritos I had opened moments before that was now working its way through my body. That made me wonder...now that I had food, would I get bathroom breaks?  
The door opened to my surprise at that moment. I stood up quickly, not sure if I should have a defense up or not. It was unexpected to see both girls there, standing as still as if they were aways there before.  
"Hello, Child," the small, blonde one said with a dreamy smirk on her face, "Have you ever heard the shores of the Atlantic?" I wasn't surprised by her crazy banter. I was more concerned with what the Raven haired girl would say.  
"I will be honest and say I have been unfair, Jacob," She said pleasantly, "We use what we can by means of getting what we want and sometimes a temporary companionship is made. We needed you for a purpose and that purpose only."  
I gulped, not sure what to expect, "And what is that?"  
She smiled smally, "Right now, your Edward is saving two lives." I froze at his name.  
"And what exactly does that mean?" I asked, a bit on edge.  
"The funny thing about powers, Jacob is that they can be restrained as well as expanded," She went on casually, "Think of it as a strong ball of energy that can be pelted and when flattened, can also be useful as a blanket." Different forms of energy in convenient usage." It was as if she didn't hear my question, but nevertheless, I listened. I'm sure there was some logic to their vampiric insanity. I looked to the petite blonde, Joan, who stood with bubbled excitement. I had a feeling I was going to get a show.  
"You notice Joan can dull your senses, but have you ever considered her enchancing them?" I stared at Joan, a bit in wonder. What I would give for a talent like that. "Your bones have healed quickly, am I right?" She asked, obviously making her point.  
I nodded, but then shook my head in confusion, "But why make me healthy? Why kidnap me? Why have James do what he-" I quickly regretted those words. It was like gasoline to a low flame. Joan released a high pitched screech that was enough to pop an eardrum or two. Her eyes shone like a crazy woman's as she crouched low similar to a football player.  
In a gutteral growl, she said, "He threteaned our plans." Plans? What plans?  
"As I had said before, Jacob, temporary alliances need be made to make dues." She seemed to sigh. It looked like she was disappointed, rather than wild with rage like Joan.  
"So, you're using James I take it?" Making him believe that he has control because he is what you needed?"  
The Raven girl smiled, "Precisely."  
I inhaled slowly, trying to catch a wave of anger that ran through me I've been taken and held against my will while Quil and Sam were slowly dying? All of this for _them_? And here, the Raven haired girl stood with nonchalance like she merely cut me in line. Did she know what James _did_ to me, more importantly my _own?  
_I had to remember these creatures weren't human and rape was as meaningless to them as the act of killing itself. Those ruby eyes weren't just for show.  
"Jean, the child looks angry." Joan spoke, now with such cheerfulness, I considered her bipolar. How the hell could her mood change so quickly?  
"Well, Joan, I daresay we should cheer him up." Jean said calmly.  
I bit my tongue, waiting for whatever was next.  
It felt like the world thrown into a tunnel. A series of echoes came and went at me in such speed, it felt like I was speeding past them as if on train. I stumbled back, trying to cope with the auditory overload.  
"It's a bit disorienting, I'm sure." Jean spoke softly. No shit.  
I couldn't understand what the little blonde was doing as she stared at me calmly. Did she actually _mean_ for me to hear the Atlantic ocean?  
I froze when I caught a faint sound so familar to me, I could respond to it in sleep. It was like my heart was on Speed.  
"Stand back, Alice." I heard him say urgently, "If you catch the scent-"  
I felt a weird sound leave my throat, somewhat like a sob and with a rush, I felt every single fiber of energy surge through me. This time, I wasn't able to catch myself, falling back.  
"Oh, isn't it remarkable?" Joan said fondly as if she was watching a baby speak its first words.  
Jean stared at me in curiosity before speaking, "You'll find your way back with that, I'll take it?"  
I nodded my head dumbly. I couldn't digest what they were doing. They were setting me free.  
Both girls had already turned and were walking back to the door, but like a flash, Jean turned around to face me. I was completely floored at the fact that she was grinning now. It looked odd and unfitting for her stoic personality.  
"You're a funny character. Intelligent, but funny," I stared at her confused, "That was an ingenius act you did." I had no idea what she was talking about.

**Edward**

Emily sobbed from the doorway, unable to take the sight. Quil looked dead and Sam looked nearly close to it.  
I wasn't able to take all the venom out. Logically I knew it was too late. Two days gave it more than enough time to pump through the body, poisioning and breaking down their system. I tried as hard as I could, but there was no stopping what already was in mid-process.  
Jasper held the twitching form of Quil who was now so deep into a sleep, his heart rate was plummeting.  
Alice made the mistake to gasp in air.  
"Stand back, Alice," I ordered, feeling a rise of panic in me, "If you catch the scent, you may not be able to fight it." I pulled my attention away from Sam's still body to see Alice's eyes lose focus.  
It was a quick flash of actions, even to my trained eye. Alice's body stiffened and fell back right as Jasper ran to support her light frame. And almost in that exact second, I had the echos from her mind.  
Jacob stumbling through branches and damp earth, Sam and Quil, both healthy and alive, a dark room and three figures I knew even in the shadows they sat in.  
There was so much to digest I didn't know where to start.

_Go west._

It was like a whisper of a thought. Someone I didn't know and never heard. A voice in my head? I doubt it. There was no possibility of being insane and dead. I tried to focus on the voice again, but it was of no use. I was tuning into dead air.  
Jasper looked to me and Alice, not sure how to take the rush of emotions from her.  
"I'm...fine." She said, "I just...that was so intense, I never felt anything like that before."  
"What did you see?" Jasper asked, feeling the elation, fear and relief from her.  
"I don't know. What _did _I see?"  
I'd have to excuse myself later for the one track mind, but all else faded. I ignored everything else she had seen. My sanity was at breaking point and I needed to have him with me _now_.  
"Jacob." I stated.  
____________________________________________________________________

**AN: **If anything confuses you, let me know. There are alot of gaps and unanswered questions that are meant for answering in the next chapter. And we cannot forget James. Oh dear, wonder what's going to happen to him....heh.


	4. Broken

**Author's Notes: **I know it has been FOREVER. My mind was never able to just settle down and put all my thoughts down on paper coherently, not until a few days ago. This is the last chapter of Illusions. If you have forgotten what has been going on, I advise rehashing this part of the series before continuing.

Which leads me to my next topic...Me continuing this. I want to. Very much, but there is a chance there may be no readers lost after my long break. I have no plans to wait as long as I did with this chapter. I want to get it done and written and I'm prepared to do that. The story has been swimming in my head for a year and I would love to let my readers know what happened. Let me know what you want, and it shall happen. Thanks for reading (if there are some readers left)

**Lyrics from "Done All Wrong" by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club**

Characters not owned by me

**Chapter Four: Broken**

**Edward**

_I've done me wrong,_

_I've done all wrong,_

_All the wrong I've done,_

_I'm sure to live quite long_

There was no choice.

There was only him.

I took the opportunity, turning on my heels and running in the area's direction. I was going to run to the damn ocean if that is what got me to his side again.

"Edward!" Alice's voice was but a whisper in my noisy brain. I ran on, too selfish to care about Quil or Sam. My feet all but carried me, it was my instinct, my need that directed me in his direction. I ran and ran - sure I'd come to him. And when I felt like I was going to lose myself from the anticipation to touch him again, I felt him. The waves of his thoughts jumping into my mind. They were garbled and incoherent - images flashing about.

"Jacob," I whispered, following the trace of him. I could _smell_ him. I could _feel _him and it was the fuel I needed to get to him, have him. I pushed on, only to feel his proximity. There was shallow breaths a few yards down and a faint whimper. I searched wildly, pulling branches off trees, knocking out a clearing. My body stiffened at the sight. I couldn't hear anything else, the world didn't exist anymore. He looked so hurt, so broken. His crumpled form curled up, holding himself together, "J-Jake." I fell to my knees, feeling the steam from his heated skin, bathing in his warmth. My body blanketed his, my nose finding a home in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent, "Love, I meant what I said. I mean nothing without you."

**xXx**

It had been 3 days since I found him, mind muddled and eyes distant. Having him in my arms, I expected him to feel comforted and healed. I expected a light joke even under his circumstances. With our history, he took everything with a laugh and a shrug. Why was it different now? Why wasn't he letting me in?

_What did James do to him?_

When I arrived back at the house with him in my arms, I was greeted by Carlisle and Esme. It was difficult having him out of my touch even for a second, but it didn't seem to matter - the moment Carlisle lifted a hand to Jacob's cheek, that's when he nearly lost control. Snarling and growling, coiling away and attempting to leave. With bewildered stares, Carlisle and Esme turned to me, expecting me to know, but I had no clue as to what poisoned him.

72 hours and he didn't eat or speak. The right half of the bed where he lay, sank under his weight as his back remained forever towards me. I wanted everything to caress his tanned skin, stroke the growing black locks that fell in tangles on his shoulder. I had stayed with him the first night, but feeling his unease and desire to stay awake with me in the room, I eventually left. Eyes of sympathy were all that followed me the next two days.

**xXx**

News traveled after Alice and Jasper came home. Sam and Quil were alive, just as Alice had seen. She told the news to the family that night as I kept him company. There was something that we didn't know about the injured wolves, Jacob offered his blood to them. Even in my despair, I was stunned. It was something Embry and Jacob kept to themselves, something Jacob kept from me. When seeing Sam and Quil at their peaked health, Embry exclaimed that it had worked and it eventually resulted in everyone knowing.

Jacob saved them. All efforts we made to help meant nothing. They were going to live despite everything. The blood that ran through him, whatever miracle that we made together, saved his pack and he was smart enough to know. Our love saved them.

But could we survive this?

By the fourth morning, I was perfecting my routine, entering the room only to glance at the shape on the bed. He was so still, his mind a clean slate, keeping me out. My heart broke. Hours before, I heard everyone make efforts to find some time from the house. Jasper clearly couldn't handle it. The dead link between us altered his moods more so than anything else I've ever witnessed. Our connection, or lack thereof kept him nearly as isolated as I and it forced Alice to make the choice to leave for a few days. She wanted to apologize, but it wouldn't have done anything for me. I didn't care. All I could see was _him_.

Carlisle spent more time in the hospital and Esme focused on a project she didn't want to discuss outside the house while Rosalie and Emmett disappeared for an extended hunting trip. It was just us and I needed this opportunity to try. I had tried keeping my distance, I had hoped he'd come around, that he'd let me in, but frankly I was torn and too damn curious about what went on. What did James do to him? I _needed _to know, because how James met his end depended on it.

"Jake," I settled next to him on the bed, "You have to eat." I tried. No matter how many times Esme placed meals on the bed, on the floor, near the front door, he never got up to take a bite. That stinging pain I had felt over the last numbered days, arose when a foggy thought crossed his mind, "Jake." I hungered to touch him. I was careful, splaying out my fingers, caressing the muscle in his shoulder. He stiffened only for a moment before relaxing under my fingertips. The silk of his skin, the pressure of his heat against my dead flesh sizzled it to life. I was a living, breathing being with him in my arms, I was a part of him. I leaned against his body, finally able to touch him for the first time in 3 days. Our bodies were merged together, his melting into mine as I continued to stroke his skin. The warmth of his back met my chest and I couldn't contain the happy sigh that had been expanding in my lungs.

"Let me help, love." I pleaded, "Tell me what you need me to do." For a second I thought he'd open up. He felt so relaxed in my arms. His fingers idly massaging my own. His breath was a huff against my cold skin and he opened his mouth to speak before shutting it just as quickly. I held him to me until the sun came down.

He was getting weaker, I could feel it. I was just one step away from forcing food into him when he finally twitched in my arm at twilight, "Jake?"

There was a heavy sigh in the room before he sat up in front of me, eyes trained on the window, "I need to leave." If it was possible, my insides may have imploded. I attempted to will some control to keep from losing my sanity then.

"Jacob." I held his wrist in my own, "You're not going out of my sight." The tension in the room was back. He avoided eye contact, but fought against my restraint.

"I don't belong here." He whispered, "I need to-"

"You _do_ belong here," I argued, "And anything you need to do, _we_ can do together."

In the moonlight, his beautiful russet skin shimmered, his face masking a frown. It was if he was concentrating hard on holding something back. I was able to catch one slip of a thought though.

_Why are you making this harder for me?_

**Jacob**

_I've done all wrong,_

_I've done me wrong,_

_All the wrong I've done,_

_I'm sure to live quite long_

I tried my best to follow where they directed me. I could still make out the voices and his scent. I couldn't forget that scent even as lost and bewildered as I was. I was as weak as a normal human and nearly worst off than one. Every part of me ached, yearned to be within touching distance of him again. This was what it was that was killing me. I knew that all I'd get was a moment and he would be gone. I was running back to nothing. I stumbled, tripping over a root and felt myself tip like a helpless tree to a man with an ax. The earth shuddered under me and all was silent...until I heard him whisper my name.

It was a dream.

No. I was dead.

I had to be.

I felt his arms, heard mumbled whispers in my ear before he buried himself into the crook in my neck. This felt like him. His voice, his scent, the strength was coming back to me in bounds.

But it couldn't be true.

**xXx**

I woke up just as we were entering the property of the Cullens. He had held me like a child despite my height. He never kept his eyes off of me, yet I couldn't stare into his. Everything in me burned to see him, to speak to him, to have him hold me and say it was all fine, we would be fine. But I knew this was coming. Even as I had stumbled through brush and dirt hours earlier, I knew that when he knew, they'd be no more left. I knew I'd be the first to learn what it was like to be denied by your imprint. Whatever connection we had, I was always more than sure he felt it. He wanted me, I could still sense it, but James changed everything. I was solely Edward's days ago. His mark was on my neck, but as of that moment, I was James'. His mark was on me as well. It didn't feel like Edward's, giving me life and meaning; it disintegrated the very source of everything Edward and I became in the short time. It wasn't the physical abuse, it was the memory, a different imprint that could never be forgotten; a fucking stain that would eventually mar the perfection of him. I couldn't let that happen.

I wouldn't.

But the only thing that was left for me to do was temporarily forget - keep the thoughts at bay. And unfortunately that meant losing control. I hadn't meant for it to be in front of Esme, but when Carlisle touched me, all I could picture was James. The way his cold hands worked their way down my chest lagging around my navel before he cupped me, smiling when he caught the grimace that crossed my face.

I felt fury build in me and I snapped. I regretted it only for a moment, but it needed to be done. I needed them far away, it would work better when I had to -

And I saw him. The confusion, the hurt in his eyes. He knew something was wrong yet he asked for no explanation. He waited like the fucking perfect man he was. Our first night together, he laid next to me, yet kept his hands to myself. I had to stay up, afraid my dreams would give my fears away again. I was lucky last time. All he saw was Sam, but luckily he caught nothing of the plans me and Embry came up with him. This time around I didn't want to test my luck.

Even without reading my mind, Edward figured it out. It was the hardest night I ever had to sleep through, more so than those with James. Yet I couldn't sleep. I stayed awake, inhaling his scent everywhere, needing more of him. My body ached so bad, I was sure some invisible force was tearing me apart. He checked on me that next morning for an hour, watching me. I felt his stare, the weight of his concern. I couldn't meet his eyes. The second night, I was able to fall under due to extreme exhaustion. I woke up to no memory of dreams and a foggy glow of light. I had missed Edward stepping in to check on me, but I knew he had been there. The house was alive with discussion of Sam and Quil. To my relief, they were alive and surprisingly healthy.

If I wasn't so sure I had no reason to exist, I would have smiled. I couldn't put my finger onto it before, why their lives were so important, but now I knew. They were pack members, yes, but more importantly, they were just like me. Quil had imprinted on someone, whom, I wasn't quite sure yet, but the look in his eyes, I saw in Sam's, I saw in my own when I looked in the mirror. I knew what it was like to feel the threat of losing Edward. In fact, I knew it to be inevitable. It didn't mean that they had to experience it as well.

**xXx**

I was starving, but sleeping had did much of the work of distracting me. With as much concentration as I could muster, I kept my mind blank. Dreams had attempted to weasel their way in, causing me to jerk awake in the middle of the night. My muscles were weak and sore from my static position on the bed and I could vaguely make out the distant aches from days before. How many bones did I break?

An arm, a few ribs, possibly my collarbone. and I was sure I had heard my pelvis crack at one point, but at that moment, I had passed out.

Fuck.

I shook my head, feeling a bit too weak. That's when I heard the door open. I felt him behind me. Is it even possible that I knew he was upset and hurting? Was that my heart breaking or his?

I felt his weight on the bed. "Jake, you have to eat." Fuck. He must have heard my stomach, "Jake." I felt ice fingers on my skin. I wanted his touch so much, but a part of me heard the echoes of James' words. I stiffened for a moment, scared out of my mind under his caress. What if he found out?

But despite my fears, my body automatically relaxed under him. The heat and energy that blanketed us was intense, even under this circumstance. I needed him so much. His touch was all that clouded my brain as he molded his body against me. It felt like forever before he spoke again.

"Let me help, love." He pleaded, "Tell me what you need me to do." I felt the binds of my minds loosen just a bit. I made to open my mouth, let it all out, but I held back just in time. I couldn't tell him. I didn't want to crush him that way. If he knew...

It was so much better to make him believe I had a choice in this.

As if prodding my weakening barriers, his melodic voice rung out in the empty house, "Jake?"

I thought I would have more time being next to him, but I was kidding myself. There was no way I could touch him, talk to him, be any bit normal without letting it slip. I sighed in defeat and felt my throat open up as I finally spoke, "I need to leave." I felt him stiffen like stone against my back.

"Jacob." His long fingers clasped around my wrists, burning every controlled barrier in me, "You're not going out of my sight." I heard the demand, but felt the desperate plea in his tone.

I needed him to believe, "I don't belong here." I barely spoke, "I need to-"

"You _do_ belong here," He growled, "And anything you need to do, _we_ can do together." I frowned at the idea of this not working. How the fuck did he know to weaken my will. I could never run away and _stay_ away as I remembered. He chased me before, not taking my goodbye as an answer. But he _needed_ to know, for the sake of both of our sanity.

_Why are you making this harder for me?_ I thought openly.

"Love, I don't understand." His hands were in my hair, combing through my growing strands, "Let me in." His breath fanned against my skin. I nearly lost it and jerked up in the bed, glancing over my shoulder, doing my best to look indifferent.

"I don't want to be a part of _this_ anymore," I started, trying to keep my voice strong, "I don't want my pack in danger anymore. _I _don't want to be in danger anymore."

"Jake..." He pleaded. His golden eyes searched my own.

"Sam and Quil nearly died. _I_ had to save them because it was my fault they were hurt. I chose you and they suffered for it."

Something happened to him - I wasn't sure what. It looked so much like physical pain took over. His eyes clenched close, his body huddled over. He fisted his hair and a agonized moan left his lips. I wanted to hold him to me, tell him to forget every word.

But I was frozen there.

"You choose-" He said with a clenched jaw. He didn't finish. Something in me knew he couldn't.

"I choose them."

**xXx**

I blocked out the image of his face just for that moment. They needed me to tell them everything. It was the next morning. I was back on the rez in the small living room, watching the packed bodies that stood or sat and waited anxiously for the meeting to begin. It was between those involved that night Edward and his siblings came on the land. I figured it would be more of a scolding on my part. My disappearance causing their arrival, but I was above flabbergasted when Sam made it clear that there might be a change to the treaty afterall - We may not need it.

And there I sat, hands in lap filled to the gills with Emily's food, staring at the eys of those who missed me.

Sam sat across from me, relaxed and stoic as he usually was. I could make out the crescent moon mark on his shoulder. James had marked the tree of us. I wondered if he felt the same shame I did. We belonged to another as well as our imprinted.

Or perhaps he didn't.

He didn't feel James come inside him.

"I think its only fair we start on just how you knew what to do." He pressed coolly. Emily sat at his side, her fingers weaved with his own. She hadn't taken her eyes off him the entire morning.

Seth cleared his throat. He was one of the first to arrive that morning, catching the room on the couch next to me. He gave a shy smile before speaking up, "Isn't it more important to know where Jacob was? Edward just...left and we didn't hear from them in 3 days," His eyes briefly met mine, an apology in his stare, "I mean, isn't that more important." a part of me felt a compassion for Seth for even considering my well-being, but the other part cowered. I wanted to speak as little about James as possible.

A few of the pack held their breaths, looking over to Sam. They seemed as curious and concerned as Seth

Sam nodded in acknowledgment to the question, "It is very important, but something tells me that we won't understand why Jacob is standing here with us alive, until we understand how he evaded death the first time."

Seems like I was going to have to bear all.

Every. Last. Detail.

The ache that I had been fighting the last three days, throbbed painfully at the thought of Edward again. He had to be in the back of my mind. I couldn't let them see what he was doing to me.

"That night that you came to us and said he bitten you." I could see Paul grit his teeth at Sam's words, "You said you asked him to."

I felt everyone's eyes on me then. Great. Just what I needed; to relive more bad events in my life, "I did." I replied curtly.

"Why?"

I inhaled deeply, avoiding eye contact with everyone in the small room, "It just felt right."

"But if he _cares_ about you so much, why did he bite you?" Leah sneered. They all thought about it at one point or another, I'm sure.

I raked my hair in frustration, "He explained that he had to restrain himself before. I didn't want restraint - by any means."

"So, what did he do, just walk up to you and suck your neck?" Paul asked, getting a few winces in the room.

Unfortunately, the bubble of frustration erupted then, "Let's just say it was in the heat of the moment." I kept my eyes trained on him until he looked away, a slight flush on his cheeks.

Well, hell, he wanted to know.

I hadn't noticed just how silent the room became.

"You guys...did...stuff?" Embry asked.

It was my turn to be appalled, "You guys have access to my _brain_, it should be clear that you know this already."

Sam sighed, rubbing his jaw in thought, "It doesn't explain why you lived."

I bit my bottom lip, thinking of just how to word this without grossing everyone out, granted, I'm sure their imaginations were already running, "Car - Dr. Cullen sort of explained it. It seems, I have uh...transcended."

Leah raised an eyebrow, "Transcended?"

"For a normal human being, that would be becoming a vampire." There were a fair share of snorts in the room.

"More like _de_scended." Jared mumbled, getting a pointed look from Sam.

"Something in me changed. I became..._immune_ to his venom," I whispered, "And up until a few days ago, I thought it was just him."

"It's all vampires." Emily whispered, looking at Sam, already piecing it together. I nodded.

"So when he bit you, it just happened," Quil frowned, "_Why?"_

Okay, this is the hard part, "It's clear, we all know to turn for a human, it begins with a bite. In most cases, they take the blood, and the human gets the venom," good start, I went on, "An exchange of _fluids_." I hoped they got the point, but all I got was blank stares.

_Really?_

"It was different for us. Before he bit me, the exchange had already happened." I tried again.

I wasn't surprised that Leah caught on first. She guffawed. Everyone else caught on one at a time. Quil momentarily wore a smirk and Embry shook his head as if ridding a vision from it. Paul was deathly silent. The look on Seth's face was confusion.

Sam held up a hand, silencing everyone, "So when you saw that we were bitten, your last effort-"

I nodded, "It was the only option I had left. I didn't know if biting you would have given you the altered venom in time, so I had to feed you my blood."

Jared and Paul's noses wrinkled at the statement. It wasn't pretty, Embry was witness to that.

"So, are we-?" Quil's voice rose with excitement.

"We are." Sam finished, "We're like Jacob, immune to the venom."

"Do you guys feel any different?" Seth asked, watching the three of us as if trying to string together any similarities between us.

"Well being bit hurt like hell!" Quil exclaimed, "It literally felt like their was hot sauce running againt a million paper cuts inside me." He shuddered.

"But what about after Jacob gave you his blood?" Embry asked Sam.

"I don't remember much after being bitten. I only remember pain and then no pain. The littlest Cullen was there to help Quil and I with everything when we woke up. We owe her our gratitude," And at that point, Sam turned to me, "We owe them all our gratitude. It's one of the reasons I called this meeting between us."

I frowned, not understanding where he was getting at. Everyone else in the room kept quiet, leaning in to catch every word.

"I have spoken with the elders and I personally am siding on the idea that we not only lose the treaty, but we pass the immunity to everyone in the tribe. I believe I was wrong, Jacob. We should have accepted and legitimized your imprint the day you came home and told us."

**xXx**

The shock only faded away after a day or two and when it was completely gone, the panic came in. the treaty no longer existed, we weren't enemies. My pack no longer was to despise the Cullens, but welcome them. How could they? Right after I said I wanted to leave him?

It had been just over a week of Edward finding me in the forest and it was safe to say I was worst off than I ever was. As the pack changed, learned about my captors and their threat, I felt the bonds between us regrowing, but they weren't nearly as strong as the one between me and him.

Most of them were wise enough not to ask. Somehow they knew something had happened.

I had become as withdrawn as I was with him. I barely spoke. Not because I didn't want to, but because I couldn't. It was hard to open my mouth and not say his name. My father, happy to have me home, joyous to have me alive, suffered my distance the most. The fear in his eyes were palpable when he came in to check on me each morning.

Just like _he_ did.

I couldn't take it. I spent most of my days on the beach, eyes on the waves, listening to the rez come to life each morning and die down at night. The pack kept near, keeping watch of the land as well as on me. I could feel their eyes, catch the huge shadows in the trees. I knew that if Sam hadn't said anything to me yet, he definitely shared a few words with them.

They weren't concerned about anyone else doing harm to me, but myself.

This was suicide watch.

And by the fifth day without Edward, I could clearly understand why. The pain was unbearable - inside and out. Waves of cold sweats took over my body. Stabs of agony had me clutching my chest every now and then. The rope between us, the entwined straws were breaking and falling apart. I felt the tie slowly falling away. It was my hour glass - counting down to zero. When it finally snapped, I was gone. I knew it.

That morning I stumbled to the beach, trying to catch my breath. This feeling inside was unbearable. Knowing that I'd never see him again no matter what I chose to do was the killer. I had left him before to talk to the pack, sometimes being gone over 24 hours. But it was never like this, because I always knew I was coming home.

I stared at the sea, wondering if I could stand on my shaky limbs and walk over to it. Feel the cold waves, a reminder of his touch. The pressure of the water against me. What would happen if I -

"Jacob." His voice was harsh and emotional. I looked up, meeting Sam's eyes, "Why the hell are you doing this?" I followed his figure as he stepped in front of me, blocking the ocean, "You're killing yourself. Can't you see that?"

"It's better if he believes-"

The look on Sam's face changed, "If he believes what?"

There was a brief silence between us. I knew Sam had others watching me, but it never occurred to me that maybe he was keeping his own tabs on me as well. How the hell did he know I was even considering...

Of course he would know. I had relived those moments through him. When Emily suffered at his change. The hate he had for himself, for the Cullens. That rage and despair that clouded his mind. God, how could I forget that he'd know what I was going through? I shouldn't have came home.

"There's something you didn't tell us." He stated, though I'm sure it may have been a question in his mind earlier.

I didn't know where to look. His eyes were of empathy. He wasn't going to leave until I said something. But I couldn't, I didn't know how. My shoulders trembled as I played back that night I left. He didn't move. He looked so vulnerable and human. God, I did that to him.

"Edward..." His name came out before I could stop myself. I couldn't live with that thought.

Reading my frantic expression, Sam sighed and sat next to me on the sand, shoulder to shoulder, "Jacob," I felt the warmth of him against me and suddenly wanted the marble skin and icy caress, "Tell me what happened."

"I left him." The answer had Sam rigid.

"Did you leave him because you were scared?" He asked finally after a moment of silence.

I wanted to knock him out for knowing what I was feeling too well, "Yes." My answer came out raw and hoarse. My chest was heaving and my stomach wouldn't sit still.

"You thought he would do something?" He read the look on my face, "You'd thought he'd leave you." He answered himself. What surprised me was the look of understanding and...relief, "Jacob, whatever it is that you are hiding, it's not as bad as what you're doing to yourself. Edward came here for you despite what everyone could have done to him. He took Leah by surprise. I saw what he said to them, how he kept his patience." Sam shook his head, staring at the coast, "All that harbored hate and distrust. It was all gone. _You_ changed him. He wouldn't leave you if you betrayed him." I winced at his words.

But I did.

"What if I did betray him?" I whispered.

Sam'a eyes leveled with my own, "I think you're confusing betrayal with something else."

I shook my head, "You're wrong."

"Jacob-"

"What that monster did to me..." I looked away, "You have no idea."

There was a dead moment between us. From my peripherals, I could see something vibrating, shaking. It was him, "Sam?" I stared at him in shock. His body hummed with heat as he did his best to hold himself together. I gave him a moment, watching the shaking slow to just a slight tremble. He finally looked over at me and with gritted teeth spoke.

"Why did James do it?"

"He knew it would break me - us." I turned away. the intensity in Sam's eyes nearly scared me, "He knew he couldn't kill us, but hell if we can't kill ourselves."

"Jacob-"

"I'm not needed anymore, Sam. Everyone can get immunity now. You all know what I've told you. I have no reason to-" The heels of my palms dug into my eyes, "I won't be able to fight or protect. It's hard just to _be._"

"You have an option. You can talk to him. It's not your fault, Jacob. He will know that."

"He won't want me. How could he? If that's all I think about when he - " I clenched my jaw and fought to just dive into the ocean, "He would _have_ to let me go."

"He won't," Sam argued, "Go to him." He ordered, causing my back to straighten and my eyes to grow wide.

"Sam, no-"

"I'm sorry, Jake, but you leave _me_ no choice. You're killing yourself and if I know any better, you're killing _Edward._"

I felt myself crumbling against him - the pain was too fucking intense to handle then. Sam held my shoulders in his firm grip, holding me up. God, how could I not think of that. He was in pain, I knew, but I figured it would pass. It always passes...

How could I be so fucking stupid. Sam pulled his hands away just as I jumped to my feet, dashing towards the forest front.

**Edward**

All I could smell was him. The sun came and went, the time passing like a burning eternity. His words replayed in my head over and over. I couldn't think past it.

The pain hadn't subsided, I just adapted to it. Holding the pillow where he laid his head, clutching it to my chest, breathing all of him in, I knew it was the end. He was gone.

Then there was the rage. What did I allow James to do? I was going to end him. Once the scent was gone from the pillowcase, once I was able to fully adapt to the pain, I was going to find James, end his existence and then end mine. And I knew exactly who to go to to make it so - The raven haired girl.

Alice kept outside the door of the room, pleading against my decision.

"Edward, you'll get yourself killed." She tried and the joy bubbled in me. Then she let the words slip out, "It would kill Jacob." She sobbed tearlessly.

And God, I could see it. My beautiful love, eyes hallow and offering himself to...James. And the pain would double.

And what was I do to then? As delirious as I was, I knew that the last thing I wanted was for him to go. I needed him here. Yet, the hope in my chest swelled that he would still care.

Maybe I was going insane. I must have lost all that held me together before. Alice wouldn't have seen such a thing. If my love needed me, he would have been in my arms. He chose his pack, as well he should have. I failed to save him. He was broken and he knew I did it to him.

It was an illusion to believe that we were forever no matter how much he was bounded to me. I couldn't exist in his world.

I had lost track of time, but in that whirlpool of thoughts, I heard him down the hall, at my door, in my room.

"Son, give him time." Time was all I had and all of it I gave to him, but he didn't ask for time.

"He made his choice." My voice was a hum of death. I read the fear in him. He had been speaking to Alice. The future hadn't changed for me. I had made my choice as well.

"Edward, what we experienced with Jacob the moment he came back; it had nothing to do with you. His captors may had put him through a traumatizing situation. He's confused and scared."

But why would he _hide_?

"He wouldn't let me in."

"He hasn't figured it out yet," My eyes had moved for the first time in days, following his movement to the edge of my bed, "Edward, I cannot lie and say I understand what you're feeling. The connection between you two is strong. It affects Jasper more than anything else ever had. Alice had explained that Jasper suffered immense physical pain. She couldn't understand it, until we realized that Jacob was no longer here.

"If this separation hurts you, it hurts him. Whatever it is that he is coming to terms with, it may be something you'll need to be prepared for when he comes back."

I laughed humorlessly, my void rumbling in my chest, "_When _he come back_?"_

Carlisle's gaze softened when he met mines, "Alice can see Sam and Quil now. And some other of the wolves are beginning to come through," He was quiet for a moment. There was an internal battle going on in his eyes, yet he kept his mind free of thought, "Jacob has been contemplating suicide."

My world crashed around me. I was on my feet, hands already on the door, but Carlisle's order for me to stay only had me pausing momentarily.

"He's fine, Edward." He rushed, keeping my in my place, "Alice saw Sam speaking to him. She can't make out the how soon yet, but he's coming back. _Give_ him time."

**xXx**

There was an internal war raging in me. Was he coming or not? What was I to expect? I wanted to apologize, hold him, yet give him space and hear what he had to say. In the end, all I knew was that I needed him.

I pressed through Alice's thoughts, waiting for the signs of him to come. I nearly jumped out my room window catching the brief flashes of Jacob walking into the ocean, disappearing in the violent waves. But as quick as they came, they were gone.

And then I saw him, running towards home. I was out my room, rushing down the flight of stairs before running out the back door, not caring that I knocked it off its hinges. I ran in the direction of the beach, sniffing the air, surfing for his mind. I saw him as clear as day, running from Sam. I heard no words, but I saw the fear in his eyes, the regret. I hoped that whatever came to his mind had something to do with opening up to me, changing the decision he made. The hope in me roared.

I smelt his musk, his earthy scent and my heart, dead and gone in my chest, pulsed to life. His mind was open. I felt his _need_. I ran harder, desperate to feel him against me. He was close. The ache in my body was nearly gone now. I heard his panting and there he was. His skin smooth and fiery waves kissing my cheek. His chest rose and fell heavily. His chocolate eyes stared into my own and I felt myself crumble before him. My knees hit the ground with a muffled thud inches before his own feet. He was still. I held my arms up, wrapping them around his waist, burying my nose in his navel. He shuddered under my breath.

"I need you." I whimpered pathetically. I wanted so much to give him space, allow him time to open up, to let me in, but damn if I didn't want to feel him more. I was awed to feel his hands sneak into my locks before tugging hard enough to lift me to my feet. I followed his desire, hoping he would seal our contact. I rose to my feet, my lips grazing his jaw. His hands, still in my hair pulled me to him. The sheer pressure of our lips together was similar to an atomic explosion of just energy. My world was whole in a matter of a moment. The warmth of his wet muscle urged entry into the cavern of my mouth, getting a weak groan from me. His bare chest burned against mine, singeing the fabric of my shirt.

"I'm sorry," His voice hummed against my mouth. He cupped my cheek with his other hand, thumbs stroking the flesh under my eyes. His lips moved against mines urgently, silently asking for something, I wasn't sure what.

"I need you." It was all I was able to say. I saw the flicker of fear in his eyes and it compelled me to ask the question, to have him fill in the blanks of what happened; what changed him. But the steaming between us was too much to see clearly. Our lips moved against the other in a deadly dance. I could read his lips as if he was speaking to me. He voiced his fears, his pain and his regret of the last few days. He took back his choice. His hands were everywhere, but it wasn't enough.

My shirt was torn from my chest at my own whim, flying carrying itself on air and Jacob knelt before me as I did earlier, trailing his fire kisses down from my collarbone to the brim of my pants. His breath was like a flame on my skin. It wasn't enough.

"Touch me, please." I pleaded, feeling the impatience and need bubbled and burst in me, "Jacob, I don't think I can - " My jeans followed too, shards of fabric on the earth. His lips explored every bit of me, biting and nipping my hip bone, tonguing the outline of my navel and kissing my thighs. I was so selfish. It wasn't enough. I scooped my hand under his arm, lifting him to my eye level and devoured him in another kiss. I mindlessly rid him of his jeans, felt his bare body against mine, chest to chest, arousal to arousal. A hiss of excitement left our lips before they were crushed against each other again. I cupped his backside, pressing him against me to increase the friction. His moan was all I needed to urge me on. Dropping one hand between his thigh, grazing his arousal, I lifted his leg, so he could straddle my hips. I had to take him now. I wanted to feel his heat suffocating me, molding me into him.

I was caught off guard, getting a guttural growl, similar to that which was reserved for Carlisle and Esme the night I had brought him home. I panicked, pulling away in fear. What had I done? But in a blink of an eye, his palm was pressed against my chest, throwing me back with enough force, that I literally hit the ground. In shock, I stared up at him. There was something in his eyes, masked by his drive to top me. He was on his knees, over my body. He grabbed each of my ankles with force, spreading me. I felt the head of his cock against me and the sensation was overwhelming.

He wanted to take _me._

With a primal aggression, his teeth latched on to my bottom lip, tugging before he suckled, hard enough to bruise a human. My need for him had my body shaking furiously. I tilted my head back, moaning out in bliss. He took the opportunity to nip me at the crook of my neck, grunting loudly as he entered me with such force, we were moving against the earth. This wasn't like anything before. His energy was demanding, forceful and...different.

I felt his want for me, but through all that he expressed in that kiss, there was still something he was hiding, something he hadn't let go. His thighs hit mine in a earth chattering clap, filling the night air, along with our pants and cries. I felt every bit of him in me, each twitch, every throb and blood pulse. He was alive in me, breathing life in my body with each thrust. Despite my concern and confusion, I could already sense my nirvana coming.

Jacob's eyes glossed over, his hip picking up speed as he rested the palms of his hands on either side of my head. I kept my legs apart, granting him all the access he needed. The pain of him entering me without warning throbbed pleasantly as he renewed his entry again and again. All this, physical pain and control, it was what I needed too. A reminder that the force between us was as strong as ever, not waning. I felt him twitch and throb in me once again. He was so close. I held his face in my hands, catching his gaze, distant and pained.

"My Everything." I whispered, every fiber in my being meant it. He shuddered against me, crying out my name in a whimpering cry. He looked in distress, despite his high. I held him close, feeling the tension leave his body and noticing the change in his demeanor.

"Fuck, Edward - " He started in apology.

_How could I do this? Did he make me into a monster? Why did I let myself..._

Like a tidal wave, I saw the flashes, the memories.

**Jacob**

I fought the fury and my want for Edward like a mad man, driving myself into him deeper and deeper. He took it with grace, keeping himself open for me, whining against my desperate kiss, letting me attempt to mark him as he did me. I was losing myself in him and he didn't fucking mind. What was I doing?

And even then, I couldn't help myself when he closed in around my cock as if trying to feel every inch of me from the inside. I tried to hold it off, tried to keep the memories back, but I was losing my grip.

He held my face in his icy cold hands, and I could make out his whispered, "My Everything." And that was all I needed, as I came harder than I could remember, hating myself for such a high at this moment.

I fucking raped him, didn't I?

"Fuck, Edward - " How could I apologize about something as _fucked_ as that?

_How could I do this? Did he make me into a monster? Why did I let myself..._

And the wall broke. James fucked my brain up so bad, I pushed him away, nearly killed the both of us, just so we could reunite under me throwing him down and fucking him? I thought imprinting would make this easier for us, not harder? Was it because I was the monster now? What James did...

And the flashes of James holding me down, staring at me with the crimson eyes, demanding I whisper those words of want to him...

That last time he came into the room, holding me down after he asked me to strip, holding my thighs in his hand before diving his head down to bite my inner leg. I remembered the brief fire as he pulled away and ordered me to put my jeans back on. I couldn't let Edward see it. He had lifted that leg, it was right there before him. He would have been in me like James. I couldn't let him...He would know and it would ruin everything. Who was I kidding, everything was ruined.

And it hit me.

I was more right than I knew. I hadn't blocked him off, put the wall up. I let go...and he heard everything.

Edward's eyes were dark, a black cloud of fury as he stared up at me. What clenched in my chest was regret, sickness and a tremendous amount of fear.

_We're doing wrong,_

_we've all done wrong,_

_If we do no wrong,_

_I'm sure we would be gone_

**AN: **My plans were to have the follow up series be called Awake, the foil to the first, (Sleep) Let me know if any of you guys want me to finish. I do, believe me. I just figured if there is no one out there to read this, I could be finishing all the other unfinished work I have out there.


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